Journey to Evil Queen
by LadyStina
Summary: premovie-AU. Everything is going wrong for Roxanne and she decides to find Megamind and enlist his help. She may have found more than she bargained for. But maybe, just maybe, she found everything that she needs.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

Warnings: Some strong language

Journey to Evil Queen

Chapter 1

Roxanne entered the elevator in her office building. She took the time to brush off some bomb residue from her ex-favorite pencil skirt. She was a little too close to the explosion this time. Metro Man saved her of course, but she was going to have to bust out the spare set of clothes she keeps in her office. _This_ set was ruined. Bomb stains _never_ came out. She ran her fingers through her windblown hair in an attempt to tame it. With her luck, she would get sent out to report on something else before the day was done. Work, kidnapping, and back to work.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. She headed to her office so she could change into something with less bomb stains. Why did no one else seem to have these problems? Megamind, the resident blue alien supervillain with an oversized head, always seemed to target _her_ for his kidnapping schemes. He was under the same impression as most of the city believing that she and Metro Man were an item. Merely because she ended up with most of the Metro Man exclusives. She only got _those_ because he rescued her from Megamind all the time. It was a twisted circle that kept her stuck as a victim. If she was honest though, it was exciting and broke up the daily monotony that everyone else fell victim to.

"Roxanne!" a harsh voice interrupted her thoughts. It belonged to her new boss, George Woodley. He was brought in from the network affiliate in New York and he resented being sent to a 'back-water market' like Metro City. She hadn't had very many pleasant dealings with the man and suspected that he had something against her.

"Yes, Mr. Woodley?" she asked trying to stay professional. She was tired and grimy. Why couldn't he have caught her after she changed and washed up a bit?

"My office. Now!" he commanded angrily. What in the world could he be angry about? Her work performance was still the high quality journalism she had been delivering for years.

"Yes, sir," she said and made her way to his office. He had already pulled back inside and left the door open for her. She gave her disheveled outfit a final brush down, took a deep breath to regain her composure, and entered the foreboding office.

"Roxanne," her boss said when he saw her. Then she saw him quickly look over her outfit and sneered a bit. "Close the door and have a seat." She closed the door as instructed and sat in one of the stiff-backed guest chairs in front of her boss's desk. She felt a bit self-conscious sitting in her ruined outfit, awaiting her boss's scrutiny. He shuffled some papers on his desk then looked back up at her.

"Roxanne, I'm afraid we're going to have to talk about your attendance issues," he started.

"Attendance issues? I don't have any attendance issues," Roxanne interrupted with some confusion. "I'm always here on time, and haven't even called in sick over the last year. I've _lost_ vacation time because I didn't take it."

"I'll admit that you do report to work on time, but you routinely take unscheduled leaves in the middle of the work day. Honestly, Roxanne, you should use some of that vacation time to take care of your errands instead of using work time."

"I…wha… Unscheduled leaves?!" she asked in disbelief. "The only time I'm not actively working is when I've been kidnapped by Megamind! And then I usually get an interview with Metro Man afterward. Exclusive!"

"Miss Ritchi, you may have the rest of the city fooled, but I can't honestly believe that an intelligent person like yourself can _let_ herself get kidnapped on an average of twice a month. Just because you think you need a mani-pedi in the middle of the workday doesn't give you permission to up and leave," he berated her with a sneer.

Roxanne looked down at her explosion-stained clothes and looked back up at her boss, flabbergasted. "Mr. Woodley, I _assure_ you that I haven't been sneaking off to run errands and am legitimately kidnapped by Megamind that often. He's tenacious and he's always managed to grab me whenever he wants no matter where I am or even _who's_ around. He got me at a _grocery_ _store_ once!"

"Sounds like you two have a pretty good system worked out," he said condescendingly.

"System?!" she spluttered, "Me being a _victim_ is not a '_system!'_ Megamind broadcasts live all the time and I'm always there and tied up as he threatens my _life!_ Check the footage, we have people that record it every time he pirates the airwaves," she protested. Ok, so she knew that her life was never _actually_ in danger, but Megamind took great efforts to make it _appear_ so. And if one of his safety systems ever fail, then she really _could_ get killed.

"I run a nationally recognized network television station, Miss Ritchi. I think I know _exactly_ how difficult it _actually_ is to 'pirate' the airwaves. Especially since we now broadcast in digital. _I_ think that you have an even more elaborate setup than I initially suspected. Who's your inside guy? You and this Megamind fellow obviously pre-record everything and then when you decide you need a break you have your associates play the tape. You know what? I don't think we need your services any longer, Roxanne. Pack your things and be out of the building in fifteen minutes. Joselyn James will be taking over for you. Give her any research you've been working on," he informed her.

"You… you're _firing_ me?!" she asked in shock. "On…on what grounds?!"

"I believe we've just discussed this. Your rampant absenteeism, conspiracy to pirate the airwaves, and your unprofessional wardrobe," he said as he looked her up and down again.

"But…but none of that is my fault, Mr. Woodley! Ask anyone! Ask Metro Man! He'll vouch for me that everything is on the up and up," she protested.

"And as shown in those tapes you oh-so-casually mentioned, he is tied up in this as much as you are. That ruins any credibility he might have had with me. Get your stuff and get out of my sight and out of my building," he retorted.

"But-" she tried but was cut off.

"_Now_, Miss Ritchi or I will have security escort you out and have your things shipped to you. Good day," he said with finality.

In shock, Roxanne left and headed to her office. When she entered she saw that the ever-circulating rumor mill had run ahead of her today and found an empty box inside waiting on her. She stoically packed all her personal items into the box and avoided the curious gazes of her coworkers. Due to her early ambitions she never had many coworkers that were also friends. And she just _knew_ that the other reporters were waiting for her to crack so they could talk about how Roxanne was fired and then cried like a bitch. She wouldn't give the vultures the satisfaction.

She came to the files she was instructed to give to her replacement and spitefully shoved them in her personal belongings box too. Let the little whore do her own fucking research. She had been attempting to undermine Roxanne from the moment she walked into the news room. Joselyn was a no-talent newbie reporter who just finished her internship _and_ she had a reputation for sleeping around. That was probably why they decided to keep her after her abysmal performance during her internship and got rid of Jeremy who actually _had_ talent. Roxanne knew she was getting older and on-camera ages for women were a lot narrower than the ones for men. But she was still pulling in ratings! Had she gotten too 'gimicky' with the kidnappings _that weren't her fault_?! The next time she saw Megamind, she would give him a piece of her mind.

Or… _would_ she see him again? Joselyn would probably take over the Metro Man interviews and then everyone would think _they_ were going out and then Megamind would start kidnapping _her_ instead. _That_ ought to make him happy. She looks like the vapid airhead type that would actually scream for him.

She was a big name; she was _bound_ to get a job with another local station. Then _they_ would get all the exclusives! Let's see how popular KMCP stays with her undercutting their stories! She'd show them. And that big-shot from New York. Thinks he's so smart. What the _hell_ did _he_ know about local politics? And that is _exactly_ what the public fight between the hero and villain was. Local politics. How could he not _see_ that? But then, you would have almost had to have lived in Metro City for years to truly understand.

She finished packing everything up, including some office supplies she decided to steal. She sat back and was a little disappointed that twelve years' worth of her career could fit in a box that reams of copy paper originally came in. She grabbed the box with the convenient handles and made her way to the elevator while looking straight ahead. She willed herself to keep up the poker face that Megamind was the most familiar with.

The elevator doors closed behind her and she let out a sigh. Then a sob escaped her with a couple tears leaking out. She quickly pulled herself together and wiped her eyes. There was no telling when the elevator would stop and let someone else on. She was determined not to let anyone see her show any weakness. On the outside, the journalism industry appeared to support equal rights, but any insider could tell you that it was _still_ a 'man's profession'. If you showed weakness and were a woman, they'd eat you alive and spit you out again. There is a reason behind the 'hard-nosed woman reporter' stereotype. If you were anything else, you ended up serving coffee and typing up other people's work. She smiled viciously as she imagined that fate befalling her young, bottle-blonde replacement.

She was fully composed when the elevator doors opened and she stepped out on the ground floor. She hefted her box and walked out the door. She had decided that she would walk a couple blocks before hailing a cab so she wouldn't be seen right outside the building.

She finally made it back to her apartment without having to talk to anyone besides giving the cabbie her address. She was afraid if she actually spoke she would break down in tears. She set the box down on the coffee table then sank down onto her couch with her head in her hands.

Fired. Roxanne Ritchi, star reporter of Channel 8 KMCP News, fired. For _absenteeism_! She felt a couple hot tears run down her cheeks. This is ridiculous! Even without the whole hero/villain thing, she was the best investigative reporter they had! She had gotten the scoop several times over, won awards, and was always closest to the action. It's not fair! Just because there was a hot young thing coming up through the ranks. Shouldn't Joselyn be assigned human interest stories and festivals until she got some experience under her belt? That's the way the _rest_ of the journalists worked their way up. Roxanne's next stop, if she wanted to give up field reporting, should have been sports, weather, or even anchor assuming she stayed on camera.

And there wasn't even a warning! You would think if he had a problem, he would have let her know _before_ now. She might have been able to work something out with Megamind. Or maybe Minion at least. Especially with her _job_ on the line! They could have found a work-around.

She sighed. Either that or she would have gotten fired sooner. Megamind always seemed to try to grab her when it was the most inconvenient.

She wanted to yell and just vent to someone, but as her mind ran down the list of people she knew, she realized that she didn't have anyone like that. She had slowly lost contact with her friends over the years and never really cultivated a social life. Most of that was due, once again, to her role as reluctant damsel. After unexpectedly breaking plans, and several people getting hit with Knock-out Spray just to kidnap her, all her old friends moved on. She then concentrated on her career and didn't bother to try to make new friends. And heaven forbid she try to have a boyfriend. Ever since the hero/villain thing, _again_, no guy ever approached her. And any _she_ decided to approach backed away slowly with his hands clearly in sight. So once again, she concentrated on her career.

She should be able to get another job on camera. Unless she had been branded as KMCP's reporter and no one would touch her because of that. Or the other stations thought she was too old. Not that they would come right out and _say_ that of course. They would find some other excuse not to hire her. She could always relocate, but she didn't really want to leave Metro City. She grew up here. She felt like she understood her fellow citizens and she might lose that if she transferred cities. Another downside would be if _that_ city got caught up in a struggle between good and evil, she would be a prime target. She obviously has a reputation for being an easy mark. And she wouldn't know anything about that villain or if he would actually hurt her or not.

She finally roused herself from the couch and made her way to the kitchen. She opened her freezer and pulled out the cold bottle of vodka she kept inside. It was leftover from a dinner party she had once upon a time and was just taking up room. Today seemed like as good a day as any to finish it off. She opened the fridge and took out a jug of orange juice and mixed the two. At least that way she wouldn't be drinking straight from the bottle. She wasn't that far gone yet.

She returned to the couch with her liquid lunch. Even though it was late in the afternoon, she hadn't had a chance to eat. Today's kidnapping occurred right before her lunch break and she was in a hurry to get back to the office afterward. She looked down at her stained and slightly smelly clothes and decided to change into something more comfortable. If she was going to get drunk, there was no reason to be uncomfortable doing so.

She changed into some loose pajama pants and a comfy over-sized T-shirt before returning and pouring herself a glass. She briefly thought about calling her mother, but quickly pushed that thought away. That phone call would only end in tears. Her mother was emotionally distant and was always putting down Roxanne's choice of a career. Roxanne suspected that was because she reminded her mother too much of her late dad. _That_ was the person she would call if she could. He was a reporter too and he always seemed to just understand his little girl.

"Oh, Daddy," she whispered to the air, "I wish you were still here. I tried, Dad. I was _good_, just like you! I don't know what happened… It's probably because I won't open my legs at the drop of a hat for every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Fucking chauvinistic pigs," a few bitter tears leaked out. She took a long drink of her screwdriver and stared straight ahead.

After a minute or so, she took her phone and started scrolling through her contacts. But besides her mother, that's all it was. Simply contacts. Most had to do with work in one way or another. _Why_ did she have to be an only child? A brother or a sister would be great to talk to right now. Someone like Minion would be a _great_ brother. Always supportive, no matter how much you screw up or what the world throws at you. That's why he's so good for Megamind…

_That's _who she wanted to talk to. Her serial kidnappers. How twisted was _that_? She just knew Minion would be supportive and keep her spirits up and Megamind would argue with her and let her get her aggression out. He might even let her shoot one of his ray guns because she could _so_ shoot something right now. It's too bad she didn't know how to contact them. At least Megamind wasn't hauled off to prison this morning. That blast she was almost caught up in allowed him to slip away. That means another plot should be going down soon. Sadly, she was hoping that she would still be their bait of choice by then.

She quickly reached out and grabbed a plastic vase from the end table beside her and threw it roughly against the wall. She wasn't quite ready to start throwing glassware, although she imagined the sounds of breaking glass would be comforting for a bit. Well… until she got to the cleanup anyway. It did seem to help her anger though. She chugged another screwdriver and turned the TV on. Maybe she could find some mindless marathon to lose herself in.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow she would start calling her competitors and see if she could get a job with them. She might call Channel 8's HR department and make sure her firing was on the up and up. She knew it wasn't, but she doubted that her sleaze-ball ex-boss would let himself be caught in a legality like that. She was _sure_ that if they looked, all sorts of stuff would be in her personnel file.

She sighed as she felt her face begin to warm from the alcohol. It was affecting her quickly because of the lack of food in her stomach, but the thought of eating now was repellent. The orange juice in her screwdrivers would have to do. It had vitamins in it, right? She took another drink as she found a hospital drama on TV. Since it was pretty far removed from what she normally dealt with, she settled down to watch the eccentric jerk of a doctor and his staff. 

/\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\

Roxanne felt herself slowly wake up and groaned in discomfort. Why was the TV so loud? Did she fall asleep on the couch? She blindly felt around her for the remote. When her hands located the rectangular object, she hit buttons on it until the TV quieted. That was better. She kept her eyes closed in the hopes that she would fall back asleep, but now it seemed like her stomach was waking up and it wasn't very happy with her.

With another groan she opened her eyes in preparation of relocating to the bathroom. When they opened, however, the early morning light decided to stab right into her brain for an instant migraine. She hissed in pain and closed her eyes again. She slowly righted herself and, squinting, found her way to close the blinds. When the light dimmed, she chanced opening her eyes again. Still painful, but better. She stumbled to the bathroom to take care of her upset stomach.

When everything seemed to calm down and she cleaned up, she headed to the kitchen for some bread and water. The bread didn't sound appealing, but she figured she needed to have something to settle her stomach. Once in the kitchen, she saw the empty bottle of vodka and recalled _why_ she had been drinking in the first place. She sighed sadly, but resolved that today she would find another job. Some station out there had to want her. She was Roxanne Ritchi after all. She took some Excedrin to help her hangover headache and went to boot up her computer. Hopefully she could find her resume somewhere… it would need updating…

/\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\

Two days later and Roxanne hung up her phone with a frustrated sigh. That was it. That was all of the local television stations and every single one told her not to bother sending in her resume. They all stated something along the lines of her being a liability or her noted work habits. She had tried to convince all of them to just give her a chance, but they all seemed to have their mind made up already. She had to have been blacklisted… She didn't think she pissed off her old boss _that_ bad. They barely had contact with each other and now he was sabotaging her future! She had enough in savings for a couple months, but after that… She picked up the plastic vase she had restored to the end table at some point during the tortuous phone calls and threw it against the wall again with a yell.

Ok, so the job hunt will take longer than anticipated. That means expenses need to be cut… Cancel the barely used gym membership, cut the cable package, downgrade to a cell phone that doesn't need a monthly data plan, be more aware of the thermostat setting, stop eating out…

She sighed and decided to start by making a run down the road to the cell phone store. Ironically, it was easier to talk to them about her phone service in person. She grabbed her keys and headed out.

After a frustratingly long conversation with a dense cell phone company employee and a quick stop for sandwich supplies, Roxanne was finally on the way home. She had purchased an old-school flip phone and was fiddling with it one-handed trying to find all the functions while walking back. When she entered the lobby of her building, she looked up and gave her doorman, Carlos, a slight nod.

"We'll be sad to see you leave us, Miss Ritchi," he said enigmatically. "When is your last day here?"

She looked at him and felt the confusion on her face. "What are you talking about, Carlos? I'm not moving out."

"Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. I just assumed with the movers and all," he started.

"Movers?! What movers?" she quickly interrupted.

"The…the ones you hired, Miss Ritchi. All their paperwork was in order," he told her.

"Oh no…" she moaned and ran to the elevator, dreading to see what was, or was not, behind her apartment door. When the elevator let her off on her floor, she ran down to her apartment and saw that her door was still ajar. She slowed and let common sense talk to her a bit. She crouched down just outside the door and peeked inside after setting her grocery bag down. Her place was in shambles from what she could see. She couldn't spot anyone still inside, but she wasn't going to risk it. She walked down the hall so anyone still in her apartment wouldn't overhear and called the police. She told them her place had been broken into and she was unsure if they were still there or not. They told her someone was on the way and she hung up.

First her job and now this. It was a good thing she didn't cancel her renter's insurance, not that she expected to get much out of them. She pushed her emotions down and made sure Reporter Roxanne was being presented to the world. She could break down later; right now she had to be strong and sure of herself.

Ten minutes later and the elevator doors opened to reveal two police officers. That was pretty good response time. She walked over to them and told them what was going on and pointed at her door. The gently pushed her back and drew their weapons, one on either side of her door. They looked at each other and one gave an imperceptible nod. After that, they edged the door open the rest of the way and entered her apartment quickly. She nervously waited for either gunfire or for them to come back out again.

After a few tense minutes of silence, the police duo came out again and declared her apartment clear. She gave them her statement and took down the information she needed to file a police report. All too quickly, they left and she finally entered.

It was a wreck. All her electronics were missing along with her couch and some of her fancier decorations. The furniture that was left had been overturned and ripped open. She slowly made her way to the bedroom and saw the same thing in there with the addition of her clothes strewn everywhere. She walked around in shock while still trying to take inventory like the police asked.

As she made slow laps around her apartment, the shock slowly started giving way to rage. How _dare_ they? She was already struggling with being fired and they had the _gall_ to come and _rob_ her. Didn't they know _who_ she was? Roxanne Ritchi, supposed girlfriend to Metro Man for Pete's sake. Roxanne Ritchi, favorite kidnappee of the extremely possessive supervillain, Megamind. With a snap of her fingers she could have _either_ of the two super-beings make them sorry they ever _thought_ to mess with Roxanne Ritchi. Although Wayne would just haul them off to jail. No, for a _real_ sense of vindication, she would need to sic Megamind on them. If he can routinely almost win against an _invulnerable_ superhero, just _imagine_ what he could do against everyday low-life criminals. Maybe he'd let her watch. And hold a ray gun.

She needed to talk to Megamind. Now. She had always sort of respected his privacy so never attempted to hunt down his secret hideout. But now she needed him instead of the other way around. She couldn't just sit back and wait until he decided to kidnap her. Not anymore. That and she couldn't stay here any longer. The place was giving her the heebie-jeebies.

He had to be somewhere in the old industrial district. There were several abandoned factories and warehouses and most of the time that was where he carried out his schemes. For all she knew, he could have held her at his actual lair at some point in time. He never mentioned it though. Unfortunately she was always unconscious when she was conveyed anywhere so she couldn't draw upon memories of a street view. It was as good a guess as any. Maybe she would get lucky and see a brainbot or two. At least she still had a few hours of daylight left. She wouldn't feel safe in that area after dark.

Unless she found the city's _supervillain_ by then…

_Why_ was her life weird?...

She turned to pack, but looking at her clothes strewn about, she didn't want to touch them after some stranger had pawed through everything. She'd just sleep in what she was wearing and come back to do laundry later. She stuffed her groceries quickly in the fridge, grabbed her keys and purse and headed to the parking garage to get her rarely driven car. She couldn't use the news van anymore, after all. She determinedly left to find Megamind's secret hideout.

A little while later and she found herself in the industrial district. She was just as determined to find the criminal genius as when she left, but she was starting to have doubts about her ability to do so. She started by just driving around trying to get a feel for the area. She was able to determine which buildings were abandoned and which were still going strong by glimpsing the parking lots. Certainly Megamind would have surveillance out the yin-yang and would spot her trespassing. If there was nothing obvious, then she could always try parking in an empty lot and checking out the buildings.

As she drove she realized how futile that task would be as she saw exactly how many empty buildings were around. There was no way she would stumble across his lair like this, and she didn't even have a guarantee that he was _in_ this area. It's just where a stereotypical supervillain would be and he always liked to play to type.

A few angry tears slipped past her determined mask and she went ahead and pulled over into one of the many empty parking lots in the area. She roughly wiped the tears away and yelled in frustration. Her head fell back on the headrest and she just stared ahead at the abandoned warehouse in front of her while taking deep breathes. She knew this was a long shot before she left. It wasn't as though she was just gonna stumble upon his _secret_ hideout. It was a fact that he had an _invisible car_! Who knew how well his secret hideout would be hidden.

After a few calming breaths, she put the car in gear again. It was getting late and it wasn't safe for her to be here after dark without backup. She was going to have to get a hotel room until her apartment was livable again. Like that wasn't going to eat into her expenses. She gave a resigned sigh and pulled out into traffic.

Roxanne was just about to leave the district when she spotted a mom and pop coffee shop. A latte would do wonders right about now. She pulled in to treat herself. At least one thing could go right today. The store was empty except for a friendly gentleman behind the counter. She ordered her latte and sat in a comfy chair in their lounge area to enjoy her drink.

About halfway through her latte, two guys in blue coveralls opened the door to the shop. They were laughing exuberantly over something and the dark haired one even twirled as he entered the shop. She smirked a little wistfully at them, wishing she could be that happy over something right about now. The guy with the lighter hair spotted her and she saw the smile fade from his face as he tapped Twinkle Toes on the shoulder.

"Yes, m…my friend?" Twinkle Toes said as he stopped laughing. Friend said something softly and gestured in her direction. Twinkle Toes turned quickly with wide, startled eyes and stared at her. Fans? She smirked a little wider and held up her coffee cup like a toast. She brought it down and took another sip. Twinkle Toes and Friend were sorta cute in an everyday guy kind of way. Maybe she could get lucky. It's been too long after all. She'd let them order and then ask them to join her. Who knows? They might be interesting.

Twinkle Toes finally stopped staring at her and said something softly to Friend. They then walked stiffly past her to the counter to place their order. She shamelessly eavesdropped as she watched them order and figured that Twinkle Toes had a sweet tooth after asking for extra caramel and chocolate in his drink. Friend only ordered a pastry after Twinkle Toes cajoled him into it.

When they got their order and started heading for the door, she waved them over, "Hey guys, come join me?" she asked.

They both stopped and Friend turned towards her, "Of course, Miss- ow!" he said as Twinkle Toes elbowed him for some reason. "Say… aren't you Roxanne Ritchi? From the news?" Friend asked carefully, giving Twinkle Toes a quick look as he made his way over to sit down. Friend eyed the chair warily before taking a cautious seat, staying towards the edge. She noticed that Friend's eyes matched his light brown hair. Twinkle Toes sighed and followed suit.

"Yeah, that's me," Roxanne softly agreed with a sad smile. Twinkle Toes looked at her questioningly with his unusually bright green eyes.

"So are you down here covering a story?" Twinkle Toes finally broke his silence. "I didn't see a news van." He took a long drink of his coffee. Roxanne noticed that Friend set down his pastry bag near Twinkle Toes and then unobtrusively moved away slightly.

"Oh no," she replied. "I was looking for a couple friends of mine. I thought they worked in the area but I don't know where. Turns out, this district is bigger than I thought."

"So… what? You were just hoping to bump into them?" Twinkle Toes asked a little surprised.

"Hey, stranger things have happened," she shrugged. "Besides, I need to talk to them but don't have their contact information. They usually come see me and take me out." She laughed in her head. She was almost making Megamind and Minion sound normal.

Twinkle Toes and Friend exchanged glances then Friend said slowly, "Sounds like an odd friendship…"

She smirked, "You have _no_ idea. So do you two work in the area?"

"Well, we have a little workshop," Twinkle Toes answered carefully. Figures. They're probably up to something illegal. Why can't she ever meet any nice guys? Guys that aren't threatened by potentially dating the hero's girlfriend. Or guys that don't mind her getting kidnapped frequently by the local supervillain.

Never mind…

She just answered her own question.

"And here I thought you were factory workers," she replied back.

"Oh no," Friend told her easily. "Ssssam here doesn't take orders very well and prefers to be his own boss."

"Sam, huh?" she looked at Twinkle Toes. "I was wondering if we were going to get to the introductions part of the conversation," she said playfully and tucked a strand of her short brown hair behind an ear.

Twinkle Toes looked startled and said, "Oh! Yes…yes, I'm… Sam," he shot a quick glare at Friend for some reason. Friend shrugged helplessly and gave a sheepish smile. "And this is Max," Twinkle Toes gestured to Friend.

She couldn't help but laugh. "Sam and Max? Really?" she asked chuckling. "Like that old computer game? My dad and I played it when I was little." She continued to snicker as she saw the two look at each other and shrug. Obviously they never played that game growing up. She would have to dig out that old game and… oh, that's right…

Her spirits plummeted and she bowed her head as she remembered the robbery and her situation. Not to mention one additional link to her father gone with the robbery. She suddenly felt a little slimy for wanting to lure one of these guys to her hotel bed just for a little false comfort.

"Miss Ritchi, are you alright?" Friend-Max asked quietly and gently touched her hand.

She took a shuddering breath and replied enigmatically, "Not really." She stood up quickly and grabbed her purse, "I'm sorry for taking up your time. It was nice meeting you, Max. Sam. Excuse me," she said as she hurried out the door and to her car.

She started the car as she was berating herself. This was a stupid idea. 'Let's just march down to the industrial district and _find_ the genius supervillain that doesn't _want_ to be found. That'll be easy!' God, what an idiot. Time to find a hotel and contact her insurance. Back to reality. She didn't have time for wild goose chases.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters. I'm also not associated with the Girl Scouts of America, besides being one when I was a child.

Chapter 2

Megamind and Minion watched in disbelief as Roxanne nearly ran from the shop. They were field testing their new portable disguise generators when they stumbled across her inside the coffee house near Evil Lair. They tried to walk out, but she called them over to be social, then she bolted.

"Did that meeting seem peculiar to you? And Sam? Really? Do I look like a 'Sam' to you?" Megamind asked his disguised friend once they saw Roxanne pull away from the store.

Minion grinned playfully and gave Megamind a quick glance up and down, "Let's see… Caucasian male, American accent… Why yes. You _do_ currently look like a Sam." He then looked a little sheepish and continued, "I almost slipped and 'Sam' was the first S-name I thought of for cover."

"Good catch, I don't think she suspected anything," Megamind complimented then continued thoughtfully, "Why do you suppose Miss Ritchi was in the area?"

"Do you think she was looking for us, Sir?" Minion asked.

"It sure seemed that way. But why? We just kidnapped her a few days ago. Why would she need to talk to us now? Or at all? It's not like our meetings are mutually agreed upon." Megamind replied. He absently pulled Minion's pastry out of the bag set in front of him and took a bite.

"Do you think it has something to do with her missing work? You know she's usually tied up with the six o'clock broadcast right about now."

"Hmm… you may be on to something there. She wasn't on the news the last couple of nights either. I just assumed she took a few days off." Megamind furrowed his disguised brow in thought. "Go ahead and follow her. If anything looks amiss, grab her and bring her in. Let's see what she wants if she is indeed attempting to hunt us down."

"Yes, Sir," Minion agreed as they stood up to leave. They left the coffee shop and headed back to Evil Lair. Megamind would need to get things ready for Roxanne's visit while Minion went to collect her.

-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-

Minion got in the invisible car and shot a quick glance at his deactivated disguise generator. It was very neat and he could see how it would help them move around discretely, but it was still disconcerting to have a fleshy-looking body. Sir actually wanted him to attempt to eat in the disguise to test its spatial-compatibility properties. His theory was that if Minion ate something in the disguise it would somehow bypass his bowl and enter his mouth. That sounded a bit too science-fictiony to Minion and he was just _sure_ it would make a mess instead.

He engaged the invisibility field and pulled out of the lair. Once he was out of the building, he activated the computer screen they had installed in the dash. He pushed a couple more buttons then flipped a switch. A rudimentary map of the city popped up on the screen with a blue dot that represented the invisible car and a red dot that was several streets away that represented tiny GPS tracker located under Miss Ritchi's vehicle. Several years ago now, he had spent over fourteen hours scouring the city for Miss Ritchi for a kidnapping. Come to find out, she had left town for a conference earlier that day. After that, they had installed tracking devices on Miss Ritchi's personal vehicle and on several of KMCP's news vans so they wouldn't lose that much time again. Minion maneuvered the car in her direction.

Eventually he spotted her car ahead of him and it was easy to trail her after that. About ten minutes later, he followed her into the parking lot of a mid-priced hotel located close to her apartment. He waited for Miss Ritchi to exit the car, but she didn't seem to be in a hurry. Shifting position slightly allowed him to see in her car window. She was resting her head against the steering wheel and then she lifted her head to look at the roof of her car. She reached up and wiped her eyes. Was she crying? Miss Ritchi doesn't cry.

Something was definitely 'amiss,' as Sir put it. He opened the glove box and pulled out the Knock-out Spray. He gave the can a little shake to mix up the ingredients. It rattled loudly like it was almost empty; he'd have to remember to refill it before the next kidnapping.

Miss Ritchi exited her car after another face rub then turned and headed for the hotel. Oddly she didn't have any luggage with her. Now was probably the best time to grab her since she was all alone in the parking lot. In a well-practiced procedure he quickly pulled up next to her, rolled down the window, extended the aerosol can to her face and hit the nozzle. Unfortunately, nothing came out when she turned to look at him.

He frowned and shook the empty can again as her face brightened, "Minion! Stay there, I'm coming." He heard her feel around for the door handle on the back door. She quickly found it and slid into the back seat. "Am I glad to see you!" she said excitedly as she closed the door.

Minion turned around in his tank to face her, "Miss Ritchi!" he protested. "This is highly irregular!"

"Hey, not my fault your spray didn't work," she replied with a shrug. "So, I need to talk to Megamind. Can we relax the whole kidnapping protocol today and just make this a social visit? And that was fast! You've never picked me up twice in a week before."

"Uh…well," Minion stammered. "We…um…heard you were looking for us?"

She gave him a confused look, "How did you hear that? I didn't tell anyone."

"Y...you didn't? Um…well…I…" Minion felt cornered and attempted the spray again. Again nothing came out. Miss Ritchi swatted the can aside and smirked. "Oh, Sir is _not_ gonna be happy about this. I can't take you back while you're aware of your surroundings, Miss Ritchi."

"Look, I'll close my eyes, ok? Now how did you know I wanted to talk to you two?" she asked again.

"Uh… Minion's Intuition?" Minion guessed at a good answer.

"Minion…" she drew it out in a playfully warning tone. Minion frowned a little harder as he tried to think of something.

"Are you sure you didn't mention something to someone. In passing?" Minion suggested.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I told a couple guys I was looking for some friends of mine, but I never mentioned names," she replied then seemed to look thoughtfully at his eyes. Minion recalled the one bug they hadn't worked out on the disguise generator and quickly turned back around to put the car in gear. He couldn't give away the disguise generator; he would never live it down.

"Come into the front seat, Miss Ritchi, so I can make sure you have a blindfold on," Minion told her while making sure he was driving _away_ from the lair.

Miss Ritchi sighed, but got up and wiggled into the front seat. She took off her light jacket and draped it over her head then asked, "How's that?" Minion pulled over and checked that she couldn't see. She could probably make out shapes near her but she wouldn't be able to identify anything out the window. He made a couple adjustments to make sure then declared her good. He pulled out again and eventually turned the car in the general direction he wanted to head. He would have to take the super-scenic route to keep her turned around, but the gas tank was full so no problems there.

They sat in silence for a little while and he heard a couple sad sighs emanate from under the jacket. He eventually heard her sniff loudly. He couldn't help it and broke the silence, "Miss Ritchi, are you alright?" he unconsciously echoed his disguised self from earlier and gently placed a metallic hand over her fleshy one.

He saw the jacket move slightly back and forth as she shook her head. Then a small voice very unlike the Miss Ritchi he knew came out from underneath, "No, Minion, I'm not. I…I was _fired_ a couple days ago, and…and…and no other station will even _look_ at me. And th…then this afternoon, I was robbed," Miss Ritchi had gotten quieter while she was talking. "Oh, Minion…What am I gonna do?" she quietly asked and leaned her head over onto his furred shoulder and started silently crying.

In shock, he parked the car and patted her gently on the back. His mechanical body wasn't exactly built to comfort other people so he had to be extremely careful. He really didn't have experience with people crying. The last time Sir had cried was when he was six and upset about school-yard taunts. That's when he started pushing back instead of showing weakness. Minion gently removed the jacket from over her head since they weren't currently moving and he thought it would be more comforting to her without it.

"Shh…it'll be ok, Miss Ritchi. You'll see. It's just a minor setback. You'll get him next time!" Minion realized he slipped into old patterns then quickly tried to cover with something else, "I mean-" he stopped when he heard her snort a tiny laugh at that. He decided to roll with it to see if he could cheer her up and attempted to recall what he repeated to Sir when his plans didn't work out. "Don't worry, Sir, you were _very_ impressive. Your next plan is _sure_ to work. He was just lucky that the laser malfunctioned, Sir."

Miss Ritchi was softly laughing now and she pulled back from his shoulder smiling slightly but with tear-stains running down her face. "Thanks, Minion," she said quietly as she sat back down in her seat. She drew her legs up and put her arms around them. Occasionally, she'd bring a hand up to wipe her face.

"Are…are you ok, now, Miss Ritchi?" he asked a little nervously. "We can stop and get ice cream?" he offered. Upset women liked ice cream, right?

"Can we?" she asked while ignoring his first question.

"Of course, Miss Ritchi," he agreed. "What flavor do you prefer?"

"Cookies 'n Cream," she mumbled. "Thanks."

"No problem. I'll wait to stop until we get a little closer, ok? No need letting it get all melty," he informed her cheerfully. That was really only one reason though. The other was that way he could visit the corner store that Sir had cut a deal with. They had deals with a couple businesses near them, and a couple not quite so near, that they would frequent _as_ themselves and not worry about the employees calling the cops. And in exchange, the stores were protected from the criminal element. The corner store he wanted to visit was also where Minion ordered all their groceries in the back-room. His shopping took more planning than the average person's, but he got what they wanted in the end.

Minion put the car in gear again and started driving. He decided not to make Miss Ritchi wear the modified blindfold until after he picked up her ice cream. Not that she was looking out the window anyway. She was just staring into space.

Finally, he arrived at the corner store. He parked and turned to Miss Ritchi, "No driving off while I'm inside," he warned her.

"Don't worry, Minion," she said dully and sighed. "I don't have anywhere to go."

Minion looked at her sadly and gave her a pat on the hand before leaving the car. He had made sure that he was the only customer on the premises. Just because they had a deal with the workers, didn't mean that the other customers would abide by it. He entered the store and waved to the clerk. Jose' was working today and was always friendly. Jose' waved back and hit the custom-made switch that turned off the surveillance system. Minion walked to the back with the ice cream box but then used his watch to call his charge.

"Sir? There's a problem," he said into the watch.

"A problem? What problem?" Sir asked.

"Well, Sir… I ran out of spray so Miss Ritchi is conscious. She willingly came with me though and I have her blindfolded," or he _will_ in a few minutes anyway, "She's very distraught, Sir. I think she should stay with us for a few days."

"What? No! Minion, are you nuts? We can't have her using her nosy reporter skills around Evil Lair!"

"Those skills won't really help her right now, Sir. I'm afraid I have to insist," Minion told him firmly and winced slightly. Normally the only thing Minion 'insisted' on was 'you need to eat now, Sir,' so he was hoping that would pull a little weight.

"Why won't those skills help? And what do you mean, insist, Minion?"

"Sir, I know you know what that means. We'll be there in a few minutes. I'm picking up ice cream, do you want any?" Minion talked around Sir. Otherwise he would be talking to his wrist all night long and never get anywhere.

"Rocky Road. And we'll talk about this when you get here," Sir warned.

"Of course, Sir," Minion said to mollify him. Once he talks with Miss Ritchi, Sir would see that he was right. Minion picked up a couple pints of each requested flavor and then one for himself. He also made a quick run of the store picking up some overnight items for Miss Ritchi to use, like a toothbrush and a hairbrush. After grabbing some toiletries for her, he picked up a couple magazines and some crosswords. He brought everything up to Jose' at the counter and checked out with the typical thirty percent hush money tip.

"Don't forget to turn the cameras back on, Jose'," Minion reminded him as he gathered up his bags. "Oh, and tell Hakish that I'll have a grocery order in sometime before Friday."

"Ok, Minion, I'll tell him tonight. Hasta luego, amigo!" Jose' said as Minion left with a wave. Minion put his groceries in the back seat and then slid back into the driver's seat

"Ok, Miss Ritchi, I'm afraid you'll have to be blindfolded now," he told her gently. She just nodded and draped her jacket over her head again. He heard her sniff again and said, "Oh, please don't cry, Miss Ritchi. We're almost there." She didn't say anything, but he saw the jacket bob up and down. He put the car in gear and made his way to the Evil Lair.

/\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\

Roxanne was quiet on the way to the Evil Lair. She was trying to sort out her thoughts about what she wanted to say to Megamind. She had already lost it once in front of Minion and she didn't want to do it again. Although he _was_ sweet; trying to make her laugh while comforting her. He had probably said all of those things at one time or another to Megamind. But it was hard keeping control after she cracked opened the floodgates.

Roxanne Ritchi, star reporter, does not cry. Roxanne Ritchi, frequent kidnap victim, does not cry. But apparently, Roxanne Ritchi, unemployed ex-reporter, _does_ cry… on occasion… She took a cleansing breath and slowly let it out. She did this a couple times before she felt the car slow to a stop and heard the motor cut off.

"One moment, Miss Ritchi, I'll come around. No peeking just yet, ok?" came Minion's friendly voice just as she heard the driver's door open. She heard him talking to someone then the back door was opened and she heard rustling as he removed the plastic bags. "Put _this_ bag in the freezer and _these_ bags on the table. Got it?"

"BOWG, BOWG," she heard the brainbots acknowledge Minion and the back door shut. That sucks; she was kinda wanting the ice cream now. She felt the door beside her open and she uncurled herself from the seat to get out of the car.

"This way, Miss Ritchi," Minion said as he grasped her elbow and started leading her off somewhere with the jacket still over her head. It was a thousand times better than the bag though. She at least knew when she last washed the jacket. "Sir, we're back," she heard Minion call out to Megamind.

"In here, Minion," she heard Megamind reply from somewhere in front of them. She made sure to school her face into her normal poker-playing expression. Minion led her somewhere slightly to the left of where she thought she heard the voice, then came to a stop.

"You can have a seat here, Miss Ritchi. I'll be right back with Sir. _Please_ don't wander off," Minion told her gently as he removed the jacket from her head. She was surprised to see she was standing in front of an overstuffed, black leather couch. And she was delighted to see a pint of Cookies 'n Cream ice cream in the grasp of a brainbot in front of her along with a plastic spoon on top. She gave Minion a small smile and gently grabbed the ice cream before she sat down. Minion left the room and she took that first cold, creamy bite.

The only bad thing about ice cream was that it had become an emotional food for her over the years. She never really wanted it unless she was upset, therefore if she was eating ice cream, she must be upset about something. It was a whole vicious cycle really. Before she could lose her composure again, she overheard voices from the next room and listened in.

"Where is she?" Megamind asked.

"I thought it would be better if we all talked in the sitting room, Sir," she heard Minion reply calmly.

"But I got _this_ room all ready," Megamind protested.

"So is the sitting room, Sir. And unless we call Metro Man in the middle of our talk, there isn't any need for that," Minion said. So next door was a kidnapping room, huh?

"And how do you know we won't?" Megamind asked a little petulantly. Goodness, he could be such a child sometime.

"Just call it 'Minion's Intuition,' Sir. Now come on, let's not keep Miss Ritchi waiting," Minion said. Roxanne smirked briefly before eating some more of her ice cream.

"Ahh, Miss Ritchi, we meet again," Megamind said grandly as he entered the room.

"Hey, Megamind," she replied and was slightly surprised at how dull and flat her voice sounded to her ears. Apparently, he noticed it too because the showmanship instantly dropped a couple notches. He sat in a high-backed chair across from her and opened up a pint of ice cream that she had overlooked earlier.

"So, my dear Miss Ritchi, to what do we owe the pleasure?" Megamind asked.

This was what she came here for. She took a deep breath and said firmly, "Megamind, I'm calling in a favor."

"A _favor_, Miss Ritchi? May I ask why you think I owe you a favor?" Megamind asked.

"Because I've been your kidnapping victim for nearly ten years now without major complaint or filing charges, and as such, I think I deserve some perks. As in, if the city's supervillain has repeatedly claimed that I am his victim, then no one else should mess with me. Criminally, that is. Do you agree?" Roxanne asked.

"Yes, I see your point. I have stated many times that you are _my_ exclusive victim," Megamind easily agreed with a satisfied smirk.

"Good. Because someone didn't listen and my apartment was robbed today. I demand satisfaction _and_ all my stuff back," she stated.

"What?!" he stood up angrily. "Someone _dared_ to cross me?"

"Oh, they dared all right," she egged him on. "My doorman said they posed as movers and had paperwork and everything, so you know they had to plan it." She saw him grind his teeth as his green eyes flashed with anger at being crossed. Aww, she knew he cared. About his ego if nothing else.

"Miss Ritchi, I have to ask," started Minion while Megamind seethed. "Why didn't you bring this up with Metro Man? Surely he's easier to contact than we are."

"Oh, no doubt," she agreed. "But I want _satisfaction_, not justice, if you catch my drift. For that, I thought I'd ask Metro City's resident criminal genius and master of all villainy. I guess if Megamind doesn't want to help then I could ask him, but I'd rather not. He's annoying." Oops. She didn't mean to say that out loud. Damn overactive emotions. Keep the tears in and the frustrations spill out. There is just _no_ middle ground here!

Megamind barked out a startled laugh at her slip up and smirked at her, "I always knew you had good sense, Miss Ritchi. He _is_ annoying, isn't he?"

"I just got fired. And robbed," she stated flatly, and trying to cover for her slip-up "_everything_ is annoying right now. So, you gonna help me or not?"

"If you mean, 'am I going to hunt them down and use them as an example of why you shouldn't encroach on a supervillain's territory,' then yes. It's simply a matter of principle, you understand," Megamind told her with a sly smirk while waving his spoon to make the point.

"Thanks," she replied dully. She normally would have replied with a sarcastic comment which would have led to their form of witty banter, but she felt physically drained. Now that she had his agreement, all the energy that had been sustaining her vanished. She stared morosely into her half-empty pint of ice cream. When had she eaten that much?

She missed the surprised look that her lack of response caused on Megamind's face. And the look he and Minion exchanged.

Minion said quietly, "Miss Ritchi, you said you got fired? What happened? If you don't mind us asking."

Roxanne sighed and put the lid back on her ice cream container before she ate any more. "I don't even know," she replied quietly. "My boss is from New York and thinks he's some hot shot and we never really saw eye to eye." She spotted a brainbot hovering near her and passed her half-eaten carton to it. The brainbot grabbed it, made its strange little barking noise, and flew off. She gave it a little half-smile and then continued while still not looking at anything in particular, "He accused me of being in league with you to fake those kidnappings so I would have time to get my _nails_ _done_. Said I had 'rampant absenteeism' and didn't dress professionally." She sighed again as she thought about her bomb-ruined clothing. "I tried arguing, but that just made it worse."

"Fake!" Megmind said incredulously, "How could he possibly think that your vital role in my schemes is fake? It wouldn't be very eev-il if I scheduled kidnappings now would it?"

Roxanne shrugged, "He's just a slimeball that thinks he knows everything. He's only been in Metro City for a few months." She stood up, "Hey, thanks for agreeing to help with those robbers. I'm bushed though. Minion, can you take me back to the hotel?"

"Miss Ritchi, would you rather stay here for the night?" Minion asked her sympathetically. "I'm sure you'll find our security is much better than a deadbolt and a small chain-lock on the door."

Honestly, she did. But she felt that would be showing too much weakness in front of these two. She already asked for help and had an image she liked to maintain too, after all. "No thanks, Minion. I'll be alright," she lied.

"Well, at least stay for supper," Minion insisted. "It's high time I started on that anyway. Any allergies I should know about, Miss Ritchi?" he stood up and started heading for the door.

"Uh, no… no allergies…" she replied. She saw Minion bob in his version of a nod as he walked out the door. She raised both eyebrows and looked questioningly into Megamind's intense green eyes. She pointed her thumb in the direction Minion just went and asked, "Did _Minion_ just strong-arm me into staying for supper? I… I didn't see that one coming."

Megamind shot a glare in Minion's direction then sighed and replied, "Quite so, Miss Ritchi. I think it's his mission in life to make sure everyone around him is well-fed."

She looked at his normal villain attire and thought of another question. And hopefully it would start a conversation that would keep her mind off her current troubles. "So, you always dress like that, huh? I figured it was only for the cameras or Metro Man. I thought by dropping in I'd catch you in something different."

"In point of fact, Miss Ritchi, I _did_ send Minion after you, so I was aware of your pending arrival. If I do frequently attire myself differently, I would have had plenty of time to change," he replied. "Besides," he continued, "a villain must always be prepared to seize an opportunity or defend himself if the unexpected occurs."

"Oh, I see. Always be prepared," she nodded sagely and kept the smile from her face, "Just like the Girl Scouts."

"Yes," he agreed absently, "Just like the…GIRL SCOUTS?!" he shouted as he caught on. "Miss Ritchi!" he protested.

She half-smiled at his reaction before apologizing. No need to get him sulking and then the two of them start a pity party. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it," she replied.

"Although," he said thoughtfully with a slender finger resting on his chin, "you _could_ argue that they are an evil organization. So, gender aside, I approve of the comparison."

She scoffed in disbelief, "What? Ok, _how_ are the _Girl Scouts_ an evil organization?"

"You mean besides the fact that they employ child labor to sell their cookies every year? And you know the money isn't going to the poor child that knocked on doors in shady neighborhoods. They also have regular meetings to plot their schemes. And they force conformity by awarding badges when the children do what they want them to do," he counted off smugly.

"You totally twisted that around to make it sound sinister. Don't think I don't recognize a spin put on something when I hear it, Mister," she chided him. "You must have never had their cookies, or you wouldn't think they were evil."

A strange look quickly crossed Megamind's face before it vanished and he replied, "While it's true I haven't _actually_ tasted one before, I still have valid points."

"Really?" Roxanne asked, slightly shocked. Then she remembered who she was talking to. "Oh, I guess you might have trouble getting some being the big bad villain and all. Remind me in February or March and I'll get you some Tagalongs." She smirked, "I'll be supporting one evil organization to help another. Since you share mottos and all."

"Since you put your own little spin on it, I'll take you up on the offer. Prepare to buy eev-il cookies at the start of the year." She saw him steeple his fingers in front of his chin and tilt his head so the shadows would make him look more ominous. It was probably an ingrained habit by now.

"Sure thing, Evil Overlord," she mocked lightly.

"My, I _do_ like the sound of that," Megamind replied smoothly, ignoring her own mocking tone.

"How's that coming, anyway?" she asked curiously. She was also hoping he would spill something. Old habits die hard, after all.

He shook his finger at her, "Ah-ah, Miss Ritchi. Let's keep the business talk to our business meetings."

"Is _that_ what you call them?" she asked drily. "Not exactly something that beefs up the ol' resume."

"Oh, oh!" Megamind exclaimed excitedly for some reason and leaned forward in his chair, "I can do this! It's like a word puzzle! Let's see… Oh, I know!" He started ticking items on his fingers, "Can keep calm under pressure, familiar with knots, has worked with exotic animals-"

"That were trying to eat me!" Roxanne protested.

"Spin, Miss Ritchi. It's all about spin," Megamind chided and then continued, "Oh! Not afraid of heights, will travel without prior notice-"

"That doesn't count when I'm being kidnapped!"

He studiously ignored her and continued counting on his leather-clad fingers, "Familiar with complex apparatuses. And I will reluctantly concede: good at problem-solving."

"Gee, thanks," she said drily.

"I would probably skip over the part about you being a terrible screamer if I were you."

"I'll do that," she shook her head and gave a little smirk at Megamind and his antics. She knew that hunting him down would do her some good. He currently had his face scrunched up in thought to give her another good resume item. She couldn't help but notice his brilliant green eyes seemed to be dancing with excitement, or possibly mischief, even as he was thinking. They were quite striking in an otherworldly way.

She realized that they had never had this relaxed of a conversation before and this was the first time she wasn't actually tied up in his presence. It was nice and surprising easy. It was almost like when she used to hang out with friends back in college. Before she could analyze that thought too closely, a couple brainbots floated in and got Megamind's attention.

"Ahh, it appears that Minion is ready for us," Megamind told her as he stood. As she stood up, he continued, "Shall we, Miss Ritchi?" and presented his elbow.

Figures. The first time in years anyone has acted chivalrous to her and it had to come from _Megamind_ of all people. Oh, why the hell not? She paused only slightly, and then placed her hand in the crook of his elbow.

"What? No blindfold?" she asked as they started walking.

He cleared his throat a couple times which caused her to look over at him. To her surprise, the tips of his ears were a darker purple than she recalled and the cheek she could see was tinted purple as well, being a sharp contrast to his blue skin. He was blushing! Supervillains don't blush!

He interrupted her thoughts then by answering her question, "Uh, no. There aren't any secrets you can spoil from here to the dining room."

"Aww, shucks! Nothing to use my nosy reporter skills on?" she asked teasingly.

"Nope! This is a nosy reporter friendly area. Have a seat," Megamind replied as they entered a room.

Sure enough, they hadn't passed anything interesting. Unless you count the fact that she was actually seeing where he lived for the first time. Which she did. She had never really connected the thoughts of 'Megamind' and 'living spaces.' Like when she was younger and never thought about her teachers doing anything outside of the school. Why had she never thought about that before? That's a pretty big blind-spot for a reporter.

She took in the meager surroundings as she headed towards the small wooden table. The table and two of the chairs matched and a third chair had been rounded up from somewhere for her to use. She realized that it was her kidnapping chair. Of course… One of the matching chairs was heavily reinforced, so she supposed that was Minion's seat. She purposely walked past the reinforced chair and the kidnapping chair to sit in the other one. The walls in the room were bare except for a single flat-screen TV displaying Megamind's logo on a black background.

"Funny, I didn't take you for a minimalist, Megamind," she stated as he sat down next to her in the kidnapping chair. She felt a small surge of satisfaction at that.

Megamind opened his mouth to reply, but Minion entered the room and answered, "Oh, well we don't use this room much, Miss Ritchi. So I'm afraid it _does_ have that bare bones feel to it." He was carrying a serving dish and was followed by a few Brainbots carrying dishes. The bots swarmed around him and set the table before Minion walked across the small room. He set the dish down on a potholder one of the bots set in the middle of the table. "Shrimp Alfredo," he presented with a small flourish.

"Thanks, Minion," Roxanne said as he dipped out some pasta for each of them. He gave her a toothy grin in reply and sat down in his reinforced chair. With a hint of amusement, she noticed that Megamind kept his gloves on while eating. They ate in silence that grew more and more awkward the longer no one said anything. None of them were used to their new dining partner. Roxanne just picked at her dinner and looked down at her plate. It was good; she just didn't have an appetite. Not to mention she just had that ice cream not too long ago. Eventually, she sighed and set her fork down, too drained to even move the pasta around on her plate.

"I'm sorry, Miss Ritchi! There's too much garlic isn't there? I was out of garlic powder and attempted to adjust the recipe and-" Minion started in a near panic before Roxanne interrupted.

"No! No, it's good. I'm just not hungry right now. Maybe next time?" she tried to placate the fish. Heh, next time. A kidnapping and a meal. That would shake things up. She looked up as she spoke and saw that Megamind's and Minion's plates were about empty. She glanced quickly in Minion's direction to see if she could see where he was _putting_ the food. As far as she could tell, his dome was one solid piece. There went another missed opportunity.

"Oh, I see," Minion replied. "Finished, Sir?"

"Deviously delicious, as always, Minion," Megamind replied with his usual flair while waving a hand.

"Thank you, Sir. Why don't you and Miss Ritchi head to the viewing room. I'll just straighten up and be right there," Minion shooed them out of the sparse dining room as he started gathering up plates.

Roxanne blinked as she realized that she was calmly walking beside Megamind as they headed to another room. She narrowed her eyes as she thought about what was going on, "He's doing it again, isn't he?" she asked Megamind.

"Oh? And what's that, Miss Ritchi?" Megamind asked with a glint in his eye that Roxanne didn't recognize. On anyone else, she'd suspect playfulness.

"Minion!" she exclaimed, "He's trying to get me to stay! I just bet that he 'dirtied every pot in the kitchen' and it's going to be a couple hours before we see him again. And then there'll be 'car trouble' or some-such that'll take him all night to repair. Next thing I know, I'm dozing on the couch and have stayed the night anyway!" she fumed as she saw she was being manipulated.

They entered the 'viewing room,' as she finished griping. Normal people would call it a living room, what with the seating and the televisions, even if there _were_ five of them, but she had given up on 'normal' when she had attempted to track down these two particular villains. Megamind gestured at a black leather couch (of course) with a suspiciously convenient blue throw blanket folded across one of the arms and sat himself down in a high-backed arm chair. She glared at the throw as it just confirmed her suspicions and settled gingerly on the edge of the couch refusing to get comfortable.

"Now, now, Miss Ritchi," Megamind replied with a fake placating voice. "You've got it all wrong. We are merely biding our time until darkness has Metrocity firmly in its grip. Then we'll return to your apartment to see what we can find," his tone had turned more business-like and slightly colder as he talked. "And with that in mind, who all has had access to your apartment recently? It wouldn't do to unleash my might against your plumber. Unless of course, the plumber is the perper-traitor."

She snorted at the mental image that conjured up as she halfway noticed that he touched the side of his watch. "You're just covering for Minion. I recognize the little game." She frowned as she tried to recall who all had been in her apartment recently, and was disappointed in the short list. Which proved, once again(!), that she didn't have a social life. "The only people I can think of that have been in my apartment recently besides myself is Metro Man, and Hal, my cameraman. Oh, and I guess the two police officers that checked it out afterwards."

Megamind nodded with hands clasped, his index fingers steepled and resting against his lips. She noticed he was wearing a frown and his eyes were narrowed in thought. "Did you get the names of the police? And what's your cameraman's last name?"

"Hal Stewart. And I think the cops' names are on that paper they gave me. It's in my purse," she started to get up to fetch it, but Megamind raised a hand to stop her. He smirked as she settled back down then snapped his fingers. Immediately three brainbots were hovering near his head.

"You," he pointed imperiously at one of the floating mechanisms, "Fetch Miss Ritchi's purse from the car. Gently!" he shouted as it flew off to fulfill its task. "319," he pointed to another one, "my laptop and some paper. And 128! Fetch Minion. And tell him to bring some coffee, would you?" The last two brainbots gave a 'BOWG' sound, then rushed off to serve their creator. Megamind settled back a little smugly.

"Is that why you created those things?" Roxanne asked a little snidely, hoping to get back on normal footing, "To bring things to you that you could just as easily get up and get yourself?"

He kept that smirk on his face and replied smoothly, "Of course not, Miss Ritchi. I created them to bring terror into the hearts of the masses. This is just a benefit of having them around. And it keeps them from getting bored between my brilliant schemes."

"Getting bored?" Roxanne asked, puzzled. "How can a robot get bored? Wouldn't they have to have independent thought for that? What's it called? A.I.?"

"They _are_ called 'brainbots,' Miss Ritchi," He said haughtily in a non-answer just as the first returned with her purse in its grip. "Ahh, here we go," he got the purse from the floating machine and handed it to her.

She warily took her purse from him and opened it to find the paper the police had given her earlier. She glanced at it, then handed it to him just as a brainbot brought his laptop. He quickly scanned the paper as he opened his computer.

"Oh, Lieutenant Murphy and Sergeant Brady! Excellent! I already have them on file," he said as he handed the paper back to her. "I wouldn't bother filing that if I were you. They won't really help get your stuff back, and it could cause complications with my own investigation." He began furiously typing something on his computer. A moment later, she heard a "BOWG! BOWG!" and saw a couple brainbots fly off, apparently on a mission. He closed the laptop with a satisfied smile, hit a button on the arm of his chair causing a television to switch on and said, "Now we wait."

**AN: ** I wasn't aware that GS cookies had different names depending on what part of the country you live in. Fun Fact: In Michigan the cookies that I know as "Peanut Butter Patties" are called "Tagalongs."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Once again, I don't own Megamind (besides the DVD) and am not affiliated with Dreamworks in any way.

Warnings: Some strong language.

Chapter 3

Megamind diverted his attention from the television to his watch as it beeped to indicate that his brainbots had completed their mission. He had sent them to locate the cameraman Hal Shtewart and discretely gather a DNA sample and capture an image for his database. That would help him sort through anything they might find at Roxanne's apartment.

He glanced at Roxanne to tell her they could leave, but noticed that she had fallen asleep. He smiled slightly at this unprecedented situation. She had come and asked for _his_ help instead of going to Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes. And then they had spent time together socially. He must have gained some of her respect during their past dealings. Maybe if he handles this situation well, this won't be a one-off event. He could get used to having Roxanne Ritchi hanging around Evil Lair.

He quietly stood up and scanned her with his disguise generator and then gently covered her with the blue throw Roxanne had glared at earlier. "Sweet dreams, my future-evil queen," he whispered under his breath to not disturb her. He backed up slowly to make sure that she wouldn't awaken. When he was satisfied, he left the room and went to the kitchen to find Minion.

Minion greeted Megamind as he entered the kitchen. "Oh, Sir, what kind of breakfast do you think Miss Ritchi would like? Something sweet, or eggs and bacon?" Minion was currently standing in front of the open pantry, apparently weighing up breakfasting options.

"Oh, don't worry about that now, Minion. We need to head to Roxanne's apartment while she's asleep. Have the brainbots keep her from leaving the viewing room. Non-violently, of course. Grab your disguise generator and meet me at the car," Megamind ordered. He waited until Minion started giving orders then left to collect his de-gun and an evidence-gathering kit. He instructed a few additional brainbots to meet them at Roxanne's apartment then made his way to the invisible car.

They both arrived at the car at the same time and Megamind grinned excitedly. "Ready, Min-yon?" he asked as he opened the passenger door.

"You bet, Boss!" Minion answered as he hopped in on the driver's side. As quickly as he could, Minion flipped the invisibility switch and sped out of Evil Lair.

"How do you want to play this, Sir?"

"I thought we'd just walk in the front door, Minion. You can use the one from earlier today, and I," Megamind turned the face on his watch and continued in Roxanne's appearance and voice, "will get us past the doorman. So, how do I look?"

Minion had glanced sharply in his direction when his voice changed, but was now inspecting the illusion. "The eyes still aren't right. It looks like it's a general fault instead of a faulty scan like we suspected. But other than that, I would think that you were Miss Ritchi, Sir. And don't tell her I said so, but it's too bad you couldn't have scanned her at some other time. You're looking a bit rumpled."

"No matter, I'm sure I can get a better scan later," Megamind waved away the concern. "But the voice sounds right?"

"Oh absolutely, Sir. Do you have any plans for when you catch the culprits?"

"I have the beginnings of a few ideas, but we really need to gather data before I can refine any of them. And when I get to the planning phase, remind me to incorporate a Metro Mahn contingency plan. The last thing I need when protecting my turf is for that muscle-bound moron to show up and ruin my credibility. Does he have any upcoming events I can coordinate with? That should keep him out of my pro-verby-ale hair."

"When we get back to the lair I'll try to find out, Sir. Miss Ritchi may also know of something he's mentioned or that they're planning on attending together."

"Right…" Megamind replied with a bit of disappointment in his voice, "The boyfriend in tights… But if that's the case, then we can be reasonably certain that Roxanne will keep him occupied while we're otherwise engaged."

"Well, like you said, Sir. It's a bit too early to tell," Minion replied as he found an out-of-the-way parking spot near Miss Ritchi's apartment building. After parking, he activated his own disguise generator as they got out of the car.

Megamind looked him over and nodded his head once and started walking towards the apartment building. "You never did try eating anything while wearing the watch, did you Minion?"

Minion sighed and opened his mouth to reply, but Megamind jumped in excitedly, "Oh! That was new! You've never sighed before. You just flutter your gills so it's not usually audible. See? There is no reason that eating wouldn't work!"

"I'm not sure, Sir. It sounds like a good opportunity to gum up my gears."

"Bah!" Megamind waved away the objection as they neared the doors to the apartment building. "Showtime," he grinned as he pushed his way inside. He made his way up to the doorman with Minion right behind him. "Hi, excuse me," he started. "I was informed earlier that some movers came to my apartment with some paperwork. Could I get the original copy of that?"

"The original, ma'am? I don't know… I can get you a copy…"

"Well surely, if you're making a copy it doesn't matter _who_ gets the original, does it? Just make a note in case anyone asks."

"Well, I guess… What's the name and room number?"

"Ritchi. Roxanne Ritchi," Megamind replied with some smugness seeping into his voice. These watches had to be some of the best inventions he's come up with to date! "Apartment 413." He glanced back at Minion to verify that he had the correct room number. At Minion's slight nod, he turned back to the night doorman with a grin.

The man behind the desk shuffled in a drawer for a moment then announced, "Ok, here it is. One moment and I'll get this copied for you." The doorman turned around to make a quick copy and then handed the original to Megamind.

"Here you are, Miss Ritchi. Have a nice night."

Megamind nodded and then turned to Minion with a wide grin as they headed towards the elevator. "These are field-testing great!" he whispered excitedly and gestured to his holo-watch.

Minion nodded and agreed, "Yes, they are holding up rather well. Just be careful, Sir. You remember the trouble we had with the prototypes. And we haven't subjected the holograms to long-term use testing."

"Yes, yes, I know that, Minion," he airily waved off Minion's concerns as they stepped into the elevator. He was fully aware of the potential problems and the additional testing they needed to do. "I figured that once we're satisfied with their overall performance that we could take a trip. You're always complaining that Lake Michigan is too cold even at the height of summer. When's your next salt-water cycle? Let's hop on a plane and go swimming somewhere tropical!"

"A trip? Really?!" Minion exclaimed excitedly. "I… I don't know what to say, Sir! My next salt-water cycle starts about two weeks from now." Minion's illusory face frowned then and continued, "Oh, but I would never make it through those metal detectors at the airport."

"My incredible intellect can come up with something that'll get you through. That'll be our next project after we sort this out for Miss Ritchi. Project: Vacation. We can even program the brainbots to do random tasks around Metrocity to make it look like we're 'up to something.' Nobody will notice we're gone." Megamind stated confidently.

The elevator door opened and they headed towards Roxanne's apartment. Megamind saw that Minion was still smiling. He hadn't been planning on telling Minion just yet, but he couldn't contain his own excitement. It had been the major motivating factor to get the watches operational, and he was surprised that he kept the vacation part of his plan to himself for so long.

When they reached the door, Megamind tried the door and was surprised when it opened. "Tsk, Miss Ritchi. Leaving the door unlocked," he shook his head, "Come, Minion." He led the way inside. Once they were both inside, they turned off the watches and locked the door. Minion flipped on the lights after Megamind closed the curtains and they surveyed the ruins of Roxanne Ritchi's apartment. Megamind pursed his lips in disapproval.

"You realize, of course, that we'll have to make an example of these common criminals. An attack on Miss Ritchi must be seen as an attack upon one of us," Megamind started and then his voice started to get a little louder as he continued, "I have made it _abunt-ently_ clear that Miss Ritchi is _my_ exclusive victim. They have _challenged_ me and this insult _won't_ go unanswered!"

"Of course, Sir," Minion replied grimly.

"Let the brainbots in and have them start scanning the apartment for fingerprints and any bio-matter. Then get a copy of the security footage," Megamind commanded as he opened his kit.

-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-

Megamind stood up and stretched as images of fingerprints flashed quickly across one monitor while another held three stationary fingerprint images. He had just finished hacking into the MCPD database and was trying to find a match to the unknown fingerprints they had discovered in Roxanne's apartment. And one of those just happened to match one found on the 'movers' paperwork. He let the computer run and took a gulp of the luke-warm coffee that Minion had brought him some time ago. He put on a lab coat and goggles then went back to the lab to check on the DNA extractor. They had found some hair and a bit of blood in the apartment and he was in the middle of processing the samples.

"Sir?" he heard Minion's voice from the doorway.

Megamind turned, "Yes, Minion."

"I think I found the targets on the security footage from the lobby. I managed to get clear face shots. Wanna see?"

"Excellent work, you fantastic fish!" Megamind beamed at his friend. "The extractor is still processing here, let's go." He moved the goggles to the top of his head and followed Minion to one of the nearby workrooms.

"There appear to be three men that were posing as movers," Minion began as Megamind sat down in front of the monitor. "These are the best shots of their faces I could get from the video. And I thought _this_ one was of _particular_ interest," he continued as he pointed a metallic finger at one of the faces he had framed up.

Megamind gasped with wicked delight, "Oh by Newton's apple. That appears to be Fast Eddie Rawls. I must've been twelve the last time we had the _pleasure_ of his acquaintance in the ol' courtyard. Oh, I'm looking forward to meeting _him_ again now that we're all grown up." Megamind couldn't help the evil laugh as ideas exploded in his head. He glanced up at Minion and saw an answering evil smirk. "We should do something _nice_ for Miss Ritchi for bringing us this opportunity," he continued. That man had some _serious_ payback coming his way.

"Can you continue with the facial recognition, Sir? I need to get started on breakfast and finish up with Miss Ritchi's laundry."

"Breakfast? Already?" Megamind asked surprised as he looked down at his watch. It looked like he let time get away with him again. "Very well, Minion. Off you go," he waved his friend off to perform his self-appointed tasks while he continued with the identification efforts.

-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-/\/\-

Roxanne felt herself slowly wake up and groaned. It was too early to get up. She shifted to roll over, but felt something in her way. Did she fall asleep on the couch? And it sounded like she left the TV on again. She blindly felt around her for the remote. She couldn't locate it and gave up. The softly playing classical music wasn't all _that _distracting. She kept her eyes closed in the hopes that she would fall back asleep, but now that she identified one sound that didn't belong, she was starting to notice others.

Not only was the classical music strange, because she never consciously chose to listen to it, but there were occasional clinks and buzzes and beeps that her apartment had never made before. Well, she certainly wasn't going back to sleep now that her curiosity woke up. She cracked one eye open to see where she was. She knew from experience that it was best to slowly analyze where she was before jumping up if something seemed off.

The first thing she noticed was that she was not laying on the red microfiber of her own couch, but a black leather one. That would explain the chill… Then all her memories of the previous day filtered back to her and she realized what happened. She fell asleep while in Megamind's secret hideout. She experimentally moved her arms and legs. At least she wasn't tied up. That was pleasantly new. At her movement, she heard a soft "bowg" come from nearby.

Sighing, she knew she had been discovered, so she sat up and looked around. She was alone in the room and two of the TVs were silently showing the news from two different channels. Thankfully, neither one was showing Channel 8. A third TV was on, and this appeared to be where the softly playing music was coming from. She glanced at the coffee table in front of her and was surprised to see some of her black and blue clothes neatly folded and wrinkle-free next to an overnight bag with a standing folded note addressed to 'Miss Ritchi' on top.

She picked up the note and opened it. The first thing she noticed before reading was the flowing handwriting. She wished _her_ penmanship was that good.

_My Dear Miss Ritchi,_

_ My apologies for the meager overnight accommodations. Be assured that next time you will be provided with all the amenities you should require. You will find freshly laundered clothing and your toiletries nearby. One of us will be with you shortly, my dear._

_ ~M~_

She sighed and put the note down. He was always the hopeful one, wasn't he? She moved the overnight bag closer and was not really surprised to see that the entire bottled contents of her bathroom were inside. A shower would be good. And she hadn't been looking forward to staying in the same clothes from yesterday, so this was a nice surprise. She picked up the overnight bag and a change of clothes. O_f course_ he would only grab dark clothes from the shambles of her bedroom.

She looked at one of the remaining brainbots in the room and commanded, "Ok, take me to the bathroom," curious to see if it would obey her. She was slightly surprised when it 'bowged' at her and turned to fly off. She followed the brainbot out the door and down a short hallway. She could faintly hear some AC/DC playing from somewhere else in the lair when the brainbot stopped and actually gestured towards a door. She opened it and sure enough, it was a bathroom. "Huh. Thanks," she said towards it as she entered the room.

Soon she was showered, changed and sitting in the 'viewing room' again. She would have been done sooner, but she had to figure out which of the _seven_ knobs in the shower operated the hot and cold water. _Why_ would you need seven knobs?! And that doesn't even count the couple of keypads she saw on the wall that she decided was safer to just leave alone.

Just as she finally felt awake enough to start questioning things, she heard a familiar voice from behind her, "Ahh, my dear Miss Ritchi. I hope you found the shower satisfactory."

She stood and turned to face him with a hand on her hip, "Well, once I found the hot water anyway. Why would you feel the need to trick out a _shower_ of all things?"

He headed towards her and smirked a little, and dropped into his smooth, flirty tone of voice, "Ahh, I guess you didn't get the full experience. I'd be happy to… _show_… you sometime."

"Yeah, I just bet you would," she scoffed. "So, apparently you went to my apartment last night?" she gestured at her change of clothes while trying to distract him. She was emotionally upset enough without having to put up with sexual innuendos this early in the morning.

"Quite right, Miss Ritchi," Megamind agreed. "But let's discuss our findings over breakfast. Minion is ready for us. Shall we?" he extended his elbow again and this time she took it without thought.

After a moment of silence she simply _had_ to ask. "Labcoat, huh? That's different." She looked over at him and saw that his cheeks and ears were flushed a slight purple just like last night.

"Hmm? Ahh yes, I shouldn't wear it to breakfast. Excuse me," he replied distractedly and dropped her arm. He backed up a couple steps and snapped his fingers twice. Suddenly six brainbots swarmed him, one trailing some black material. Nearly instantly, they were flying off again and she saw Megamind standing there minus the lab coat and in his usual cape. She glanced at the retreating brainbots and saw a flash of white material before they flew out of sight. "There we go. Come, Miss Ritchi," he said offering his elbow again.

She shook her head and took his offered arm as they continued walking. "That seemed a bit unnecessary," she told him. He just smirked in reply as they entered the sparse dining room she saw yesterday.

As they got to the table, she was surprised when he got ahead of her and pulled out the chair she sat in yesterday and gestured for her to have a seat. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Her cheeks warmed slightly so she quickly averted her gaze. She sat down in the offered seat with a shy smile tugging at her lips and she nervously tucked a strand of hair behind an ear. She muttered her thanks as he gently pushed her chair towards the table.

Megamind sat in the kidnapping chair next to her just as Minion entered the room followed by a few brainbots. "Good morning, Miss Ritchi! Did you sleep well?" Minion asked as the brainbots rushed ahead of him and set the table. One put a plate of pancakes down in front of Megamind and then one placed a plate in front of her. She had to chuckle a little when she saw that her shortstack was topped with a couple strawberry slices for eyes and a piece of bacon for a smiling mouth.

She gave Minion a little half smile and replied, "Yeah, I did. You shouldn't have let me crash on the couch though. I would've been fine at the hotel."

"Nonsense," Megamind interrupted, "we would've had to kidnap you at some point today anyway for consultate-shion. You staying here is merely a time-saver."

"Glad I could help," she replied drily as she started into her breakfast. The pancakes were amazingly good and she made sure to compliment and thank Minion. She also made sure to keep an unobtrusive eye on him to see exactly how he was able to eat the bacon and whole eggs on his plate. Apparently there was an invisible hatch on the top of his dome that he could open and he slipped his food in through there as he physically swam up to meet his metallic arm. She averted her gaze when he picked up an egg. She didn't want to witness whether he had boiled them or not.

After a few minutes had passed, she couldn't stand the silence anymore and asked, "So, did you find anything at my apartment?"

Megamind took a huge gulp of his steaming coffee before answering, "Actually, yes. We are in the process of identifying the targets now. Then my incredible genius will have no problems tracking them down. My question for you, Miss Ritchi, is do you know if your boyfriend has anything planned tonight or tomorrow? We must move quickly for this retaliatory gesture." While he was talking, a brainbot had swooped in and topped up his coffee and even added the contents of a sugar packet. Megamind didn't even seem to notice.

"My boy-?… oh, Metro Man," she had almost forgotten everyone's misconceptions there for a minute. "No, I don't know if he's got anything planned."

Megamind nodded, his eyes calculating, "Right. We'll need a distraction to keep him busy." He turned to Minion and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and turned to face Roxanne with a serious expression. "Miss Ritchi, as you are well aware, I am a criminal genius and the master of _all_ villainy. And I am embarking on the planning phase of this retaliatory operation. I need to know if you're willing to be involved in planning my _highly_ illegal scheme of destruct-shion and violence or if you would like to merely receive a message when all is said and done. If you want out, Minion will drop you off wherever you wish and we will notify you when everything is completed. If you stay in, I have to insist that anything you hear, discover, or witness will remain confidential. Also, I will ensure that if things go wrong your name will stay in the clear. No police, no Metro Mahn, no editorials, and no saving it for later. So my dear Miss Ritchi, are you in? Or out?"

She put her fork down and really thought about it. If she left, she would be in an information vacuum until it was all said and done. She would also be all alone, and she _did_ just hunt these two down in an effort to talk with them. On the other hand, if she stayed, she would at the very least be an accessory to whatever plan they came up with. But she would also get the satisfaction she demanded. Her anger at the people who robbed her flared inside her head again and she knew that she wouldn't be able to sit it out even if she _was_ dropped off somewhere. She would be safer with Megamind's protection than as an innocent bystander.

Her decision made, she gave him a slightly feral grin, "Oh, I'm in."

Megamind gave her a bright smile and actually laughed delightedly instead of giving one of his rehearsed 'evil laughs'. "Welcome aboard, Miss Ritchi! Now about that distraction," he turned to Minion still smiling, "Minion, I'm thinking fire. We still have the Equestrinator in that warehouse on the east side, right? I've been meaning to scrap that project for months now. We use that to engineer a big, showy fire just before we start."

"Are you sure, Sir? We don't have all that many holdings on the east side. And that warehouse _is_ the biggest one."

"True, but the buildings on either side are slated for demolition. I've been able to keep the actual demolition orders wrapped up in red tape, but it's just a matter of time before that location would be useless to us. At least this way, it'll serve a purpose. And if we set it up right, we should be able to trick people into thinking we were _just_ there."

"Hmm," Minion looked thoughtful and replied, "We'd have to make it a big enough fire that everyone would worry about it and call Metro Man as well as the fire departments. Maybe we should spread some motor oil around to make sure the smoke is nice and dark. Ooh! We could have a recording playing of someone screaming inside one of those neighboring buildings!"

Megamind thought it over and replied, "Yes, that _would_ get Metro Mahn there quickly, but he would then discover the audio device and suspect something's wrong. I need it to look like we were working on something and it malfunctioned. The motor oil idea is very workable though."

"Of course. You're right, Sir."

"Miss Ritchi, any tips to get the media's attention drawn to the fire?" Megamind asked her. She had almost thought they forgot about her, but she didn't really have anything to contribute to their conversation besides protests.

She smirked, "A phone call? No news station worth its salt would pass up on filming a fire. I don't think you need to worry about notifying them, they'll hear about it and probably beat Metro Man to the scene. And I know it's not in the whole 'being evil' theme, but no one is going to get hurt with this fire, right?"

"We'll make sure all the buildings involved are vacant before we start, Miss Ritchi," Minion assured her.

"Right," Megamind said decisively. "Minion, go oversee the setup at the warehouse. You and the brainbots strip the Equestrinator of all the salvageable electronics to bring them back here. Run thermal scans to make sure we haven't gained a squatter in the warehouse or the neighboring buildings. Take Squad 6 with you and allow a couple sightings. They have the most advanced deception circuitry and leave them there. We'll bring the incendiary device and a timer over later along with Squad 6's instructions. Report back when you're set up. I'll go see if we've identified our _friends_ yet."

"Yes, Sir!" Minion chirped happily as he got up from the breakfast table. The brainbots had cleared the table earlier, so he was able to leave immediately.

Megamind also stood up and looked at Roxanne, "Miss Ritchi, come with me. Let's see if you know any of your tor-mentors." He didn't wait before he started out of the room with long, purposeful strides. As she hurried to catch up, she noticed that they were heading into a part of the lair that she hadn't been in before. And she was a little surprised that she was allowed in the area, much less without a blindfold.

They were still walking when he interrupted her thoughts, "Miss Ritchi, are you aware of which buildings currently utilize metal detectors?"

"That's random," she commented. "What on Earth for?"

"I need one to test a device I'm designing."

She narrowed her eyes, "'Need one' as in going to use it where it's at, or 'need one' as in you're going to steal it?" she asked suspiciously.

He smirked at her, "Now, Miss Ritchi, even if you refuse to share your knowledge, I can just look it up." Typical non-answer. That means he's looking to steal one. And he was right, everything she knew could be easily found out.

She sighed, "Well, there's the airport, the police stations, the courthouses, and the other government buildings. Maybe a couple of schools." She left the prison off her list. He would know of that one and probably wouldn't appreciate the reminder.

They entered a room that was full of monitors. Some obviously showed the feed from the security cameras situated around the building. Wherever _that_ was. She couldn't find any landmarks on the screens to try to puzzle out where the 'Evil Lair' was located. A couple more seemed to have news reports. She frowned as she caught sight of her replacement. Maybe she could get Megamind to kidnap that little whore and do something to her slimeball ex-boss.

Megamind sat in a high-backed swivel chair and gestured at three of the monitors in front of him. "Here are the ruffians that robbed your apartment, Miss Ritchi. Do you recognize any of them?"

She tore her eyes off the bottle-blonde and looked at the men Megamind gestured to. "No," she drew the word out in confusion. "I don't recognize any of them. But that doesn't make sense! I was targeted!"

Megamind was frowning and replied, "I was afraid of that. You see, I _do_ recognize _that_ one." He pointed to the middle screen. "It looks like you were targeted as a challenge to me. Don't worry, this _will not_ stand. Fast Eddie is in for a nasty surprise."

"Oh, that's just great!" Roxanne fumed loudly. "First I get kidnapped by _you_ for my association with Metro Man and _now_ I get robbed because I'm your 'favorite victim!' How is _that_ fair?! What if I had been home just then?! I could have been raped! Or killed! I only left to change out my cell phone. Thank God they were incompetent and kept me in that store for-fucking-ever! Oh and let's not forget the fact that I'm now _jobless_ because somehow I got caught up in your little game!" She couldn't help the hot tears of frustration she felt running down her cheeks. She noticed Megamind staring at her with wide eyes and looking a little pale. He put up his hands placatingly.

And of course once the tears started, she couldn't get them to stop and actually started to sob. She crossed her arms over her stomach and tried to keep her face down out of embarrassment. Here she was, losing her cool in front of the _one_ person she never wanted to see her like this.

"Hey, hey. Shhh. Miss Ritchi?" she heard Megamind talking softly and moving closer but she didn't reply. "Miss Ritchi, I _promise_ I will fix this." She felt a tentative touch on her upper arms. When she didn't flinch away, the touch became a little firmer and she felt him rub his hands up and down her arms to try to sooth her. He continued softly, "I'll design you a custom security system. And an emergency alert device. Want some security brainbots? I can make you some. You'll be safe, Miss Ritchi. I'll keep you safe," he said the last part with such conviction that she believed him.

Needing comfort, she threw her arms around his high collar, bent her knees slightly and sobbed into his chest. Belatedly she was thankful for the long sleeves she wore due to the slight chill in the air. It kept her arms from impaling themselves on his spiked mantle. She knew she took him by surprise because he just stood there stiffly with his arms out to the side. A few moments later, she felt his arms gently fold around her and hold her to him.

He began softly talking to her again, "Shhh. Shhh. Oh Roxanne. My dear Roxanne. I'll fix this. I promise. Hush now, Roxanne. I'm here. You're ok. Shhh." She felt one of his hands come up and stroke her hair gently while he repeated himself. Eventually, she stopped sobbing and held him tighter while she tried to dry her eyes.

When she was sure she wouldn't start spontaneously crying again, she slowly lifted her head off of his chest and straightened up. Massively embarrassed and knowing she looked terrible, she looked at his face and whispered, "Sorry." She saw a combination of concern, determination, and something else she couldn't place in his eyes. "I didn't expect to burst into tears," she continued and only just realized that she was still hugging him.

He gave her a little squeeze and said softly, "No I'm sorry, my dear Roxanne. It never crossed my towering intellect that someone would be brash enough to target me through you. I swear by all that is evil that it _will not_ happen again." He rubbed her back softly and whispered, "You ok now?"

"As ok as I can be," she replied softly. She gave a watery smile, "Let's teach those bastards a lesson. Oh, and Megamind?" he raised an eyebrow waiting for her to continue. She reached up, put a hand on his cheek, looked into his vibrant green eyes and said, "Thank you."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Megamind and am not affiliated with Dreamworks in any way.

Chapter 4

"Oh, that's just great!" Roxanne fumed loudly. "First I get kidnapped by _you_ for my association with Metro Man and _now_ I get robbed because I'm your 'favorite victim!' How is _that_ fair?! What if I had been home just then?! I could have been raped! Or killed!" Megamind felt the blood drain from his face and his eyes widened as she continued to rant. She was right. He had put her in danger from people trying to get to him and he never put up surveillance on her apartment because he respected her privacy. "Oh and let's not forget the fact that I'm now _jobless_ because somehow I got caught up in your little game!" she continued heatedly.

And now she was crying! He didn't know how to deal with a crying Roxanne! He tried putting up his hands placatingly to calm her down. That didn't work because then she started sobbing and was closing in on herself.

He tried softly speaking calming words to her as he cautiously approached, "Hey, hey. Shhh. Miss Ritchi? Miss Ritchi, I _promise_ I will fix this." He reached out his gloved hands and gingerly placed them on her upper arms. When she didn't protest him touching her, he started rubbing his hands up and down her arms to try to sooth her. From what he observed of humans, when they were upset they craved a comforting touch. He didn't have any experience _himself_, but for her, he'd try. He continued softly, "I'll design you a custom security system. And an emergency alert device. Want some security brainbots? I can make you some. You'll be safe, Miss Ritchi. I'll keep you safe," he said the last part determinedly. Even if she refused everything he offered he would still have eyes and ears on her so she would _never_ be in danger because of him. 

Suddenly Roxanne threw her arms around his neck and buried her face into his chest while still sobbing. Contact! Highly irregular, voluntary, hugging-type contact! What was he supposed to do now?! And why was she hugging _him_ of all people?! She just accused him of being the cause of her recent problems, and she wasn't wrong. She didn't seem to be regretting her decision to touch him just yet, so he cautiously folded his arms around her and began softly talking to her again.

"Shhh. Shhh. Oh Roxanne," he let her name slip without realizing. "My dear Roxanne. I'll fix this. I promise. Hush now, Roxanne. I'm here. You're ok. Shhh." He brought a hand up to stroke her hair, silently cursing the fact that he was still wearing his gloves. He had always wanted to run his fingers through her hair. He kept repeating the soft platitudes to calm her down. Eventually, she stopped sobbing and held him tight, an occasional spasm rocking her body.

A few silent moments went by before she slowly lifted her head off of his chest. She looked up at him with a tear-ravaged face and whispered, "Sorry. I didn't expect to burst into tears."

They were still embracing, so he gave her a little squeeze and said softly, "No I'm sorry, my dear Roxanne. It never crossed my towering intellect that someone would be brash enough to target me through you. I swear by all that is evil that it _will not_ happen again." He rubbed her back softly and whispered, "You ok now?" Although he could stand here and hold her for the rest of eternity, he didn't want her to cry anymore. But he just knew that when she collected herself, he would never get this chance again so he was committing everything to easily accessible memories.

"As ok as I can be," she replied softly. She gave a watery smirk, "Let's teach those bastards a lesson. Oh, and Megamind?" She stopped speaking for a moment, so he raised an eyebrow inviting her to continue. She reached up, put a hand on his cheek, looked into his eyes then simply said, "Thank you."

Skin on skin! On his face! She touched his face… His brain momentarily shorted out as he involuntarily leaned into her touch. He heard a small whimper escape his throat as the memories of his parents and the last time he was touched gently came to the forefront of his mind. Excepting those few days, the last time he had skin to skin contact with another warm-blooded sentient being that didn't involve fists had been from the warden before he had the coordination to dress himself. And that had been business-like at best.

He came back to himself and could feel his own eyes attempt to water. He quickly blinked his eyes to keep _that_ from happening and replied softly, "Anytime you need me, my dear Roxanne." She hadn't moved her hand, and he wasn't going to be the one to break contact so he stayed still.

A moment later and she still hadn't backed away from him or removed her hand from his cheek. In fact, she was starting to run her thumb across his cheekbone and was searching his eyes for something. Apparently she found what was she was looking for because she suddenly gave him a shy smile. He smiled back, simply enjoying her closeness, when he felt her apply a slight pressure on her hand on his cheek. The next thing he knew, her lips ghosted over his. Before he could react, she added pressure and brought their lips together for a gentle kiss.

He fell asleep in front of the monitors waiting for fingerprint results last night. This had to be a dream. He should have suspected it with the hugging. There was no way Roxanne would willingly touch and _kiss _him like this. He was sleeping and having a vivid dream and he was going to wake up right now…. Now!... Dream Roxanne pulled back and then came in for another gentle meeting of the lips. He decided that he could dream just a _little_ longer. He returned her kiss and tightened his arms around her.

Dream Roxanne started moving her lips against his and he matched the movement. He gasped in surprise when he felt her tongue lick his bottom lip. Apparently that was merely a ruse because when he gasped, she used the opportunity to slip her tongue into his mouth and slide along his. He reciprocated and they both let out a needy moan as the kiss deepened. After a moment, she pulled back and they both started panting for air. She rested her forehead against his, and he blushed at the intimate contact.

"Wow," she eventually got out while breathing heavily.

"Wow," he agreed, still not believing what was happening.

"Back to work, then?" she asked shyly.

He swallowed heavily a couple times and replied, "A couple questions first," while gently rubbing his forehead across hers. He could feel his cheeks glowing, but he didn't care. "First, and most important so please be honest. Am I dreaming?"

Roxanne smirked and said, "No, Megamind. You're not dreaming. At least I hope I wouldn't have an emotional melt-down in your dreams."

"My incredible intellect can come up with many scenarios without my conscious input. In view of this, I don't have any way to actually verify your statement, so I will be cautiously optimistic and accept this as being reality."

"Gee, that's big of ya," Roxanne replied dryly and rolled her eyes.

He smirked slightly then said, "Ok then, second question. Why?"

Roxanne looked a little uncomfortable and pulled back her forehead to his disappointment. Then she asked back, "Now?"

"My dear Roxanne," he started. My, it was nice being able to call her that out loud without repercussions. "I'm afraid if I don't know why; possible reasons will be all I'll think about all day. And I _do_ have an ee-vil scheme I hope to plan and execute in twelve hours' time." He spoke softly then, "Can you give me something to latch onto? It doesn't have to be everything."

She reached up and cupped his face with both hands and looked into his eyes. "I think I'm starting to see the real you and not just the mask. And I like the person I see and would like to see more of him." She pulled his face to hers and kissed him softly again.

When she pulled away he whispered, "Thank you, my dear Roxanne." Then he performed a quick experiment and leaned forward to give her a soft kiss. He pulled back and said, "I _really_ do need to get back to work." He kissed her softly again to verify his results. "I fervently hope we can pick up this discus-shion at some later time." He kissed her a little more urgently this time, still a little afraid he was dreaming. He copied what Roxanne had done earlier to seek permission to enter her mouth. To his delight, she opened up and let him in. He deepened the kiss and held her tight. One of his hands drifted up and rested on the back of her head. Eventually, they broke apart and were breathing heavily again.

They shared a smirk, even as they were catching their breath. Megamind brought his hands to her shoulders and gave her another gentle kiss before stepping away from her embrace. That had to be one of the hardest things he's had to do in years.

Roxanne probably didn't realize it, but she just gave him another weapon to use against his so-called challengers. Because now he wasn't just protecting Miss Ritchi, favorite kidnapping victim, he was protecting _his_ Roxanne.

- /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ -

Fast Eddie's cohorts both had fingerprints on file with MCPD, so Megamind was able to identify them and track down their last known addresses. It appeared that they were all from the west side of town in one of the gang-riddled neighborhoods. It had been a while since Megamind made it down that way to remind the criminal element exactly who was in charge of Metrocity. Apparently, he had let that trip slide a little too long.

Megamind generally left Metrocity's criminal population alone to mind their own business; he knew a good portion of it personally, after all. But since this was _his_ town, he had a few rules that most people learned to respect. After a few people ended up as blue cube paper weights on a cop's desk, word got around. He was too busy with his plans to take down Metro Man to really keep track of _everything_ that went down, but he usually had a good idea. And the few city officials, cops, and real estate agents he kept in his pocket helped keep him up to date.

As such, he has to occasionally take time to ensure everything runs smoothly. Usually a few public displays of power against someone other than Metro Man was enough to quell any major issues. Metrocity just didn't appreciate all he did for them from the shadows. It was actually a _safer _place than it would be without him. And a nice little reign of terror should do to tide the city over until after they get back from vacation. Maybe he could talk Roxanne into joining them for the trip. If things keep looking up, that would be exceptionally pleasant.

Almost everything was ready. A handful of stealthbots had just been sent out to keep an eye on the targets. Their GPS systems were activated so he could locate them on a map. Hopefully, they would all end up in one area tonight. He had sent instructions to Brainbot Squad 6 regarding the decoy fire. He was only waiting for Minion to return so he could go set the incendiary device and check things over. He had a timer and a remote activation device made up. Brainbot Squads 1 through 8 (sans Squad 6) were informed about their jobs for the plan. The Spider-bot was ready to go. All that was left was the waiting.

He gave himself a satisfied smile and turned in his chair. Roxanne was just entering the room with a couple steaming mugs and extended one out to him. "You've been staring at those monitors for hours. I figured you could use some coffee," she said as she handed him a mug.

"Oh, my dear Roxanne, that is just what I needed. Thank you," he accepted the coffee from her and let his gloved hand contact hers a little longer than strictly necessary. He took a deep gulp of the steaming beverage. "Now about tonight: would you rather stay here, or you could come but stay in the invisible car, or you could come and stay in the Spee-ider-bot with Minion? I know how hard it is to keep you from the action. Although… if you choose to stay in the Spee-ider-bot we'll need to get you into a masked costume. No need letting people see your willing associate-shion with yours truly. Not if you're going to get your job as a reporter back." He seemed to think about something and continued slightly subdued, "Just be warned, there will be violence involved. No way around that, really."

"Hmm…" Roxanne hummed as she thought and took a sip of her own steaming coffee. "Crazy question: but could you teach me to operate the Spider-bot? That way Minion can be with you on the ground."

He looked at her in shock. He'd never suspected that she'd want to get her hands dirty that way. Then he blinked and gave her a wide smile. She'd be his Evil Queen yet! "Roxanne, you are full of surprises!" he complimented her as he leapt from his chair. "We can give it a try and see how you do. Come! To the training room!" He shyly took one of her hands in his and led her upstairs. As they walked, he told her what all the Spider-bot was designed to do since she hadn't been exposed to it during one of his glorious schemes.

When they entered the training room, he put two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly. A few seconds later, the Spider-bot sidled up to them. He gestured proudly, "The Spee-ider-bot." He helped Roxanne into the cockpit and then clambered in behind her.

"First things first, buckle up," he told her as he stood to the side of the single seat.

"Huh, I figured that was a law you'd religiously flaunt," she replied as she was adjusting the harness.

"It depends on the situate-shion, my dear. And this is purely for necessity, I assure you. Believe me; you can't very well control the thing when you're sprawled on the top of the glass dome." He proceeded to instruct her in the operation of this small battle bot. To his delight, she picked up on all the controls quickly. As a final test, he got out and gave her a small obstacle course to complete on her own. She did well enough that he decided that she could operate the Spider-bot during the confrontation. He wanted Minion beside him anyway when they faced Fast Eddie.

"You're a natural!" he praised her as he helped her down from the Spider-bot. He kept his hands on her waist a little longer than strictly necessary to ensure that she had her balance.

Roxanne blushed and looked down, "Naw," she replied, "I just had a good teacher."

He swallowed to gather his courage, gingerly reached out to touch her cheek and gently lifted her face to look at his, "All the teaching talent in the world won't help if the student can't grasp the material. You picked it up very quickly," he assured her. Then, because he still had trouble believing it happened earlier and was apparently allowed now, he leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss. When he pulled away, he saw she was smiling and that had him smiling in return.

He grabbed her hand again and said, "Come. Minion should be back by now. We can eat lunch and then get you an outfit. Then, let the ee-vil games begin!" He led her out of the room with a joyous laugh.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Once again, I don't own Megamind and am not affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway.

**Warnings:** Some harsh language and some violence. Can we say "payback?" Oh, and a smidge of angst.

Chapter 5

What was she doing? A week ago, none of this would have even crossed Roxanne's mind as a possibility. And now she had tracked down the supervillain duo (kinda), stayed the night, _kissed Megamind¸_ and was currently getting dressed to participate in an evil scheme that _didn't_ involve kidnapping her! She pulled on the tight black pants Minion had scrounged up from somewhere. It made absolutely _no_ sense that they would have clothes just laying around that would fit her. Megamind had _never_ been her size.

He was just being so sweet! She had never seen him this way. Oh sure, there had been hints over the years, but he was always focused on Metro Man and his current scheme. He pulled out her _chair_ for her at breakfast! No one had ever done that for her before! After her crying fit (and she _still_ couldn't believe she did that in front of Megamind!), she searched his face and saw nothing but concern, compassion, and fondness. He _cared_ about her, and he had dropped his walls enough just then that she saw it. That was why she kissed him. She would have kissed anybody that looked at her like that while she was being held. But it was _Megamind_! Metrocity's alien supervillain! And the sweetest guy she's thought of going out with in _years_. Can this work? Does she _want _it to work? Or is this nothing but her emotions getting the better of her? Goodness knows she hadn't exactly been stable the last few days. And did she just think 'Metrocity?!' She tried to take her mind off her strange behavior, and concentrate on changing into her 'costume.'

She put on the boots she was provided and recognized them as a pair of Megamind's. Apparently, they had the same shoe size. She couldn't get the zipper all the way up her calves, but they stayed without pinching too bad. She put on the sleeveless, leather zip-up vest she had chosen. She slipped on the leather gloves that she also recognized as a pair of Megamind's to finish off her wardrobe. Talk about getting out of your comfort zone. She had never experimented with the biker chic look before. Just as she finished with the gloves, there was a knock on the door.

"Miss Ritchi, can I come in?" she heard Minion ask. She walked over and opened the door for him. He entered the room and looked her over. "Does everything fit ok?" Minion asked

"A little more snug than I'm used to, but it'll work," she replied.

"You look lovely, as always, Miss Ritchi," Minion complimented her. Then he gave her a look and asked quietly, "Are you feeling ok today?"

"I…" she paused and sat down as she took a minute to think about it. "I think I'm doing a lot of not thinking about my job loss. I'm doing better with you and Megamind than I would be on my own, I know that. I just…" she sighed. Then she gestured to herself and continued, "My life has been turned upside down in just the last few days, and I think I'm still trying to figure out what to do. I mean, honestly, Minion. Would you have expected to see me like this a week ago? I know I didn't. And… and now I think I just complicated things…" she finished with a murmur.

Minion was silent for a moment then replied, "Well, Miss Ritchi, if there's one thing that Sir and I know it's that life's not very fair. And just because it's upside down right now doesn't have to mean that it will be that way forever, or that you won't like the new orientation better! Give it some time, and it'll get better; everything is just a little raw right now." He placed one of his metallic hands gently on her shoulder and continued, "Sir and I will do whatever we can for you, Miss Ritchi. Remember that, ok?"

She gave him a tentative smile as thanks. She stood up abruptly and clapped her hands. "Let's get going. We have a score to settle after all." Minion beamed at her and they left the room. When they got close to a pair of double doors she hadn't seen before, she could just make out Megamind's voice from the other side. She hung back slightly as Minion opened the door.

"Who's Daddy's menacing little cyborgs! You're going to be big and mean tonight, aren't you? Yes you are! Drop it. Ok, get the wrench!" she heard through the door followed by a metallic clatter. Megamind was _cooing_ and _playing fetch_ with the brainbots? "Oh! Minion!" he interrupted himself when he spotted Minion at the door. "Is Miss Ritchi ready? We need to set the incendiary device while it's still daylight."

"I'm right here," she said as she walked around Minion with a little extra sway in her steps. "And I still can't believe that I'm about to actually _help_ you with this." She couldn't help the pleased little smirk as she saw Megamind's eyes widen slightly and could almost hear him gulp. She always enjoyed making him flustered.

"My dear Roxanne, you look _ravishing_ in leather," he complimented her when he could speak again.

"Don't get used to it," she warned as she shook a finger at him.

"I have no issues if you want to save it for special occas-shions," he replied haughtily as though he _knew_ she would wear them again sometime. He grabbed something on the table and handed it to her. "To complete your outfit and mask your identity," he explained.

She took the offered items and saw that it was a black motorcycle helmet and a pair of oversized safety goggles with a reflective yellow lens. She put the items on as they all trooped to the car.

She stopped suddenly and gasped. "Is this the invisible car?" she asked curiously. One, or both, of the aliens had put an amazing amount of time into customizing the classic-looking Hudson in front of her. There were spiked fins just about anywhere one would fit and not ruin the aesthetics. The grill looked like it had chrome teeth and Megamind's logo was there on the top front. She walked around the car to take in all the details.

"Miss Ritchi, you can admire my incredible genius at another time. We are on a shedule," Megamind told her.

"I don't know about your genius, but I'm admiring your _car _right now. I've never actually _seen_ it, what with the invisibility and all. Minion did all the customization work, right? It looks amazing, Minion!" she knew she could tease him by complimenting Minion on one of Megamind's 'toys.' She was right, because they both replied at the same time.

"Thanks, Miss Ritchi!"

"He most certainly did _not!_"

She laughed and to mollify them said, "Well _whoever_ worked on it, the car looks great. What are you two standing around for? I thought we needed to go!" She jumped into the backseat and was the first one in the car. She leaned on the back of the front seats and peered over to take in all the extras that she was too preoccupied to notice the day before. There was a small computer monitor and several levers, switches, and dials that she was fairly certain didn't come standard. As she was trying to figure out what switch did what, the front doors opened and her vision went solid yellow.

"Wha-?" she asked surprised and went to remove her goggles.

"Ahh, ahh, my dear Roxanne. Leave those on. I can't have you learning the location of my Evil Lair," Megamind told her as he settled into the passenger seat. She felt the car sink down as Minion got in the driver side and started the engine.

"At least it's better than the bag…" she muttered as she sat back a little sullenly while crossing her arms. "So you just happened to have a button that would keep me seeing out of these goggles?"

"Of course not, Roxanne. I _created _the button and the goggles that would prevent you seeing anything," He answered smugly.

She felt the car move and heard Megamind say quietly, "Scenic route, Minion."

Roxanne closed her eyes because the field of yellow nothingness in her vision was giving her a headache. She sat back as silence overtook the car. She could faintly hear Megamind typing occasionally on a laptop. To keep her mind occupied, she started reviewing the Spider-bot's controls in her head. Frankly she was still amazed that he was allowing her to operate it.

After far too many turns to realistically make it anyway in the shortest amount of time and a silence broken only by technical jargon from the front seat she heard Megamind say, "Pull around behind that building there, Minion and I'll jump out. Let the drones get a glimpse or two of me as I 'sneak' towards the Equestrinator's warehouse. I'll meet you two there. Stay invisible."

"Of course, Sir," Minion replied cheerfully. Curiously, Roxanne opened her eyes and was pleasantly surprised to find that she could see again.

A moment later, the car stopped and Megamind got out. Just as he was shutting the door, he gave a manic grin and said loudly, "I'll race ya!" The door was shut and the only evidence the supervillain had been there at all was a flash of his black cape going over a wall before Minion could even put the car in gear.

"Hold on tight, Miss Ritchi!" Minion warned as he stepped on the gas. She couldn't help notice that his toothy grin was almost as manic as Megamind's. The sudden acceleration forced her back further into the seat.

Once again… _what_ had she gotten herself into?…

- /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ -

Eddie wadded up the fast food wrapper and chunked it in the general direction of the garbage can. Him and his boys had pulled off a successful burglary the day before and they had taken the night off to enjoy the spoils.

Good thing that Jimmy was able to grab some of the residents' files when he was covering for the janitor at that building. Out of the files he grabbed, just a couple had only one name on the lease and they had chosen the one with the biggest apartment. They was able to just waltz in while the bitch was at work and clean the place out. Easiest money they'd ever made. They had formed plans to hit a couple other places using the same technique. The security at those high-rises is a joke.

Everything was working out, so why has he had this uneasy feeling curling in his gut since they read the name of their mark? And today he just couldn't shake the feeling he was being watched. But nothing was ever there. He even had that feeling after closing his curtains and staying inside. He _was_ getting older… maybe his nerves just ain't what they once were.

He looked at the clock and noticed it was getting late. If he was gonna hitch a lift with Tony to Detroit in the morning to hawk some of the take, he had better get to bed soon. He got up and turned off his newly acquired TV. When everything was said and done, he couldn't find the damn remote. Just his luck…

He turned sharply and looked around his apartment. He thought he had heard something, but nothing was there. Just his mind playing tricks on him. Again.

"Bowg."

There it was again! And louder this time. He made his way to the grime-covered window and opened it to see if the noise came from outside.

He looked to the left and his mouth fell open in shock. There were _thousands_ of glowing blue floating blobs with a menacing red light on each of them and they were just casually coming up the street making an unmistakable noise. There was a hulking spidery _thing_ in the midst of them that would occasionally shoot out a blue beam of light. In the very front of the swarm was a brutish-looking figure standing beside a very slight figure.

With a large head. Wearing a cape. And light glinting off what could only be spikes.

Things clicked into place as he finally realized why their mark's name seemed to ring a bell. He hurriedly shut the window and backed away. He had tried to stay out of that psychopath's way ever since he rose to power knowing that they didn't have the best history. Eddie was afraid that what went around would come back to bite him in the ass.

"Bowg. Bowg," he heard again… from _behind_ him. He froze and slowly turned around. There was nothing there.

"Need to hide," he muttered to himself as he looked for a suitable place to lay low. He jumped as another 'Bowg' sounded right next to his ear. There was _still_ nothing there!

He suddenly felt cold metal clamp down hard on his upper arms. As soon as he felt that, the air on either side of him seemed to glitch. Only then could he see two black floating things with hanging metal arms had him firmly in their grasp. One of the things opened its bear-trap jaws and let out that "Bowg," sound he'd been hearing.

Before he could get over his shock, they lifted him off the ground and flew him right through the closed window. There was a loud crash and a flash of pain as he went barreling through the glass while still in their grasp. The air outside his shabby apartment was filled with that 'bowg' noise and maniacal laughter. He was being hauled right towards the blue alien standing proudly and unafraid front and center. Jimmy and Tony were already deposited on the ground in front of the leather-clad being. Jimmy was curled up in a ball crying, and Tony looked nervous, but wasn't making any moves either.

Eddie hung suspended in the air and suddenly had three of the floating machines pat him down. One found the knife he was carrying and added it to a small pile of weapons out of reach of his cohorts. Once he was cleared, he was dumped unceremoniously in front of Metro City's resident supervillain. And the supervillain laughed.

"Why, do my eyes deceive me? Minion! Is that our old prison-mate 'Fast' Eddie Rawls?" he said with obviously faked disbelief.

"Why, I _do_ believe you're right, Sir!" said the hulking figure next to the supervillain. Eddie looked over at it and was shocked to see that fish where the head should be. Since when could that fish talk?!

"It's been, what, about twenty-three years and five months since we last saw each other? It's funny, but I don't seem to recall seeing you off when you were released…" he mused.

"You were in the infirmary, Sir," the fish replied cheerfully.

He snapped his fingers then twirled his left hand, "That's right! With the broken hand. Let's see, I think the exact words were, 'I'll give you something more important to worry about than that damn fish of yours.'" His voice suddenly got much colder and more frightening, "Funny. That's not how things worked out at all."

Eddie had noticed that while the supervillain was talking to him Tony was slowly reaching to the back waistband of his pants where he always kept his piece. They must have missed it during the pat-down. Just as the gun cleared Tony's pants, he was set upon by four of the floating blobs. One knocked his shoulder hard enough to throw him off balance and another bit down on the arm holding the gun. Tony dropped it with a cry of pain. Two of the blobs got a grip on his ankles then jerked him upside down. The other two grabbed his arms and held them stretched out to his sides. It looked like they were going to keep him that way.

There was another flash of blue light and the car on the right side of the street disappeared, revealing three crouching figures. A white glob shot at them while they were still in shock from their cover disappearing. The white stuff threw the three against the wall and they seemed to be stuck there. Eddie stared in shock then looked back up at the blue being.

"Nice job, Spee-ider-bot," he said with a wild grin before bringing his attention fully back onto Eddie. "Now see, I have this problem. Miss Roxanne Ritchi, my _exclusive_ victim was recently victimized. And not by me! I _really_ can't have that, you understand."

"Please! I didn't know! Please don't hurt me!" Eddie begged.

He stopped and placed a finger on his chin in thought, "My, I _do_ recall those exact words from somewhere. Where was it…" He snapped his fingers and said excitedly, "Oh, now I remember. I believe I said that to _you_ right before you threw me from the second floor down to the first and broke my leg twenty-five years ago. Oh, _Eddie_. You have racked up quite a debt. And I think it's high time I collect."

Eddie panicked and his eyes shifted around looking for an escape route between the floating machines and the occasional blue flash. There was an opening to an alley just fifteen feet away and he didn't see any floating blobs down there. If he was quick, he could make it. Before he lost his nerve, he bolted for the opening. He had only taken five steps when there was a swarm of those floating machines forming a solid wall in his way. He turned, and there were more. They had him surrounded.

And then they started to swirl around him. As they were swarming and swirling and making that horrid noise, they would occasionally get close enough to swipe him with their metallic arms or even nip him with those bear trap jaws. When he'd flinch away from one, he'd end up in the jaws of two more. And once again, he heard maniacal laughing.

Just as he was wondering how long he would have to endure this, he felt his right lower leg being clasped by something huge. His leg was suddenly pulled sharply causing him to fall to the ground and he was then drug out of the circling machines. The fish-robot had apparently extended his robotic arms and grabbed him. He looked at the fish as he was pulled closer and saw what he would classify as an evil grin on anyone else. Then the robot's hands on his leg twisted in opposite directions while he was still being pulled.

Pain flashed through his body and he screamed. All he could see was white for a few seconds. They broke his leg! And the psychopath was still laughing.

Once Eddie caught his breath, the blue man crouched down near him and said coldly, "That should give you something else to worry about besides robbing people under _my_ protection. I won't be so lenient if this happens again, Ed."

He stood up and turned his back on Eddie. Then he drew the gun holstered at his hip, did something to the barrel and shot a green beam of light at the upside-down Tony. Tony's face went from a brave mask to nearly hopeless in an instant. The supervillain motioned with the gun from Tony towards Jimmy and the floating machines brought Tony over. He could just barely hear the blue being tell them that he was letting them off easy because they weren't the ringleader. He also suggested that they skip town because he had framed them for several unsavory unsolved crimes.

He stood up and walked away with his cape flaring behind him. "Come, Minion," he called without looking back.

"Coming, Sir," Eddie heard the fish from behind him. As he shifted to look, the fish's robot body stepped on his hand as he clomped after the slight figure. Eddie cried out in pain again as he felt more bones break. The supervillain didn't turn around, but the fish did in his tank and gave him what looked to be a satisfied smirk.

The strange company marched down the street from where they came. A minute later, and it didn't look like they had been there at all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Once again, I don't own Megamind and have no affiliation with Dreamworks. I'm just borrowing their characters for my amusement and posting it for yours.

Journey to Evil Queen

Chapter 6

Megamind hopped out of the car just as soon as Minion put it in park and opened the backseat door. "You can take those goggles off now, my dear Roxanne. We're here," he told the ex-reporter.

"Oh, thank goodness," she replied while reaching up to remove the motorcycle helmet and the goggles she had been wearing for hours. "My neck was starting to get sore from all that extra weight." She slid out of the car with one hand resting on the back of her neck.

Minion spoke up, "Sir, if you don't need me I'll rehydrate these cubes in the training room so Miss Ritchi can sort through them and locate her belongings in the morning. You will be staying with us tonight, right, Miss Ritchi?"

"If you guys don't mind… I don't think I have the energy to get a hotel room this late at night," she answered.

"No worries! We have a room ready for you," Minion chirped as he took the bag of dehydrated cubes they collected from each of the robbers' apartments before heading out of the garage portion of the lair.

"This way, my dear Roxanne," Megamind prompted and held out an elbow for her to take. She rested her hand inside the bend of his arm and he started leading her towards the bedroom Minion prepared. He felt himself flush slightly at the still new sensations of her being willingly this close to him. He swallowed heavily and quietly offered, "If my presence in your bedroom won't offend you, I could massage your neck and shoulders."

She rolled her head from side to side and replied, "That would be lovely, Megamind. Thank you."

"Well, I figured that you're not used to a hard day of villainy and you might require some stress release," he teased.

She chuckled, "You're right about that. I don't seem to recall three separate robberies being in the initial plans. And, how did the police _not_ show up while you were doing that little dominance display?"

He smirked proudly, "We were merely holding up our side of the bargain, Roxanne. Payback and the recovery of your stolen items. If we grabbed a little bit extra in our haste, well, you can't really blame us for that, can you? As for the police, I'm betting that they had fallen for our ruse and thought we were somewhere near the warehouse fire. Also, we were clear well before their typical response time for the area. If we had continued too much longer, the brainbots had orders to barricade both ends of the street to prevent untimely interruptions."

Roxanne hummed a little in thought but didn't comment. She looked thoughtful but stayed silent the rest of the way to her room. He opened the door for her and gestured grandly at her temporary accommodations. "You'll find some of your clothes in the dresser and there is a connecting bath through that door," he pointed out.

"Great!" she said. "Stay here while I change. I don't know _how_ you can wear this day in and day out," she told him as she went to the dresser. She looked through the drawers until she found a change of clothes.

"It's all about presentation, Miss Ritchi," he replied haughtily.

"Oh please. I know about presentation. Reporter, remember? Sometimes it has to be about comfort though," she replied as she went to the bathroom to change.

He smirked as he thought of his own pajamas that he would slip into soon. He didn't need as much sleep as humans, but he didn't get _any_ the previous night so he was looking forward to crashing for four or five hours. Truthfully, he would normally already be headed that way but Roxanne was going to give him the opportunity to massage her shoulders and he wasn't going to pass that up. He looked down at his gloved hands and wondered if he should remove the gloves or not. Keeping them on was definitely safer. What if she was disgusted by his touch? At least the leather kept a barrier between the two of them. But _she_ had touched _him_ earlier. _Kissed_ him even! Maybe she wouldn't mind him touching her… What if she said something? His fingers were slightly longer than a human's with more pronounced webbing between the fingers, but the gloves hid all that.

He gritted his teeth and quickly removed his gloves. It wouldn't be the first or last time he faced a situation with false bravado. And he had to admit that his reasons were selfish. He _wanted_ to touch her, and if she was going to willingly allow it, he was going to take advantage of it. Maybe he would get a chance to run his fingers through her hair during the course of the massage.

He heard the click as the door knob to the bathroom turned open. Out of habit, his now ungloved hands went behind his back as he saw Roxanne emerge in a tank top and pajama bottoms. She glanced at him as she walked towards the bed. She sat down cross-legged in the middle and said, "Well, come on. And loose that cape-thing. I'm not gonna get all relaxed and possibly slump back just to impale myself on those spikes of yours."

He acquiesced to her request and removed his mantle from his shoulders. He also removed his spiked boots since he was just about to get on a bed. He felt like yet another layer had been stripped from him. How was it that Roxanne could literally disarm him so? He placed his discarded clothing on the floor near the door and positioned himself on the bed to sit behind her. Remembering that his body temperature ran slightly cooler than humans, he quickly rubbed his hands together to allow the friction to warm them.

He gently placed his hands on her very nearly bare shoulders and waited for her to flinch. When that didn't happen, he began to gently knead her tired muscles relishing in the feel of her silky skin under his bare hands. He had read about this massage technique and had tried to apply it to himself but could never get the leverage needed. He found a spot with his thumb that seemed tighter than the surrounding muscle and pressed harder into it to attempt to release the tension. Suddenly, Roxanne moaned.

He jerked his hands away quickly and stammered, "D…Did I hurt you? I didn't mean… sorry-"

Roxanne quickly turned to face him and interrupted, "Megamind! It's ok. That was a good moan. Don't stop. Please?"

"You're sure?" he asked. She just nodded as she turned back around and offered her shoulders to him. He tentatively placed his hands on her shoulders again. He lightly ran his hands along her skin before applying pressure. As he continued to work loose some tight muscles she moaned occasionally. It was odd. He could _feel_ her relax under his touch. He was also touched by the amount of trust she seemed to be placing in him. Until yesterday, their only contact was when he kidnapped her and placed her life in danger to provoke a fight with Metro Man. That should do the _opposite_ of gaining trust.

His hands moved up to her neck and her head dropped forward to give him better access. Once he finished, he remembered her reasoning for having him remove his mantle. He suspected that meant she wouldn't _mind_ leaning against him momentarily, so he gently pulled her shoulders back until she was resting against him. He supported her head against one of his shoulders.

"Is that better?" he asked quietly, purposefully keeping the question a little vague. He took a chance and brought one of his hands down on top of hers and threaded their fingers together.

She smiled slightly and looked over at him with heavily-lidded eyes. "Mm-hmm," she mumbled as she nodded and gently squeezed his hand.

"I'm glad," he whispered to her. They stayed that way for a minute then Roxanne found his unoccupied hand with hers and intertwined their fingers together. Then she moved both his arms so that they met in the middle of her body, effectively hugging her to him. He tightened the hug so she knew he appreciated it. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head then rested his cheek there. They were snuggling! If today all turned out to be a dream, he didn't know _what_ he was going to do. Even if everything went back to normal tomorrow, he would always have these memories. And that was the main reason he didn't want to let her go. He just didn't know what tomorrow was going to hold.

A minute later and he realized that her breathing had evened out. Roxanne had fallen asleep in his arms! With a sigh, he realized that his time was up. There was no way that she would sleep comfortably in this position and he needed sleep too. He gently disengaged from her hold and carefully guided her down to the pillows behind her. He kept her on top of the comforter and just folded the unused side up over her. Then he quietly gathered his stuff, hit the light, and left the room.

If he wasn't dreaming already, then he should have good dreams tonight.

- /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ -

Roxanne slowly woke up. She felt warm, rested, and relaxed. She smiled as she fondly recalled everything that happened between her and Megamind. She had to admit, to herself at least, that she was falling hard and fast for the local supervillain. Not for his "Megamind, the greatest villain ever" act; but the sweet, shy _person_ she had seen more and more of yesterday. Heck, last night she was going to ask him to stay but she dozed off too quickly. He didn't know it, but he had passed one of her tests. If she felt comfortable with someone it was easy to fall asleep in their presence. If she didn't, she could not go to sleep no matter how tired she was or how much she tried. Huh… That was actually the second time she did that. Maybe they _could_ make this work if they wanted to try.

After she showered and dressed for the day, she left her room. A television was playing in the distance so she headed in that direction. She entered the viewing room and saw Megamind and Minion watching three of the televisions. It appeared to be footage from the fire they instigated yesterday.

"Ahh Roxanne!" Megamind exclaimed cheerfully. "Come join us. We're watching brainbot footage from the warehouse." She smiled and sat down next to him. "Look, Minion! It worked!" he yelled and pointed at one of the screens. Metro Man was clearly visible as he helped battle the flames.

"Excellent distraction, Boss!" Minion exclaimed.

"Of course it was, Min-yon! And nice smoke. I think that added that sheer artist's touch."

Roxanne smiled slightly as they tossed compliments back and forth still clearly excited about their success last night. Suddenly a brainbot was hovering in front of her with a steaming mug of coffee in its grip. She took it and drank some. She set it down on the coffee table and continued to watch the fire with them.

After a moment, she realized that Megamind had left off his gloves when he dressed in his villain outfit this morning. She reached out to hold his hand, but jumped when he visibly started and drew away when she contacted him.

A hint of purple touched his cheeks as he put his hand back where it was and muttered, "Sorry… wasn't expecting that…"

"Sorry," she muttered back. "Can I…" she trailed off as she saw him give a slight nod.

She slowly and gently took his hand in hers. She noticed him watching her while she did so. She gently squeezed his hand and he gave her a small smile before turning his attention back to the footage. She started rubbing her thumb in circles on the back of his hand. Eventually she intertwined her fingers with his as she settled back to watch the TV again.

When the brainbot footage ended, Minion asked, "Do you want to see the news footage, Sir?"

"Of course! Let's see what rumors and stories that originated last night. Roxanne, how does it feel to be the only reporter in Metrocity that knows the truth?" Megamind asked.

She smiled sadly and replied, "Not much of a reporter when I can't actually report. But this is one exclusive I'm glad to have." She felt Megamind squeeze her hand.

"Here we go, Sir. Miss Ritchi," Minion said as he finished playing with no less than three remotes. Roxanne looked up at the screen and saw a news report just starting. She settled back to watch. She enjoyed the bantering between the two villains as they commented on the news and joined in herself.

And then it was time to watch Channel 8's live coverage. And _who_ did they have as their field reporter other than Joselyn James? They thought she could handle a live broadcast?! She grit her teeth as the recording played and she heard her replacement report on the fire and the possible connection to Megamind. Apparently, she had arrived late and the fire was already out, just smoldering slightly. She felt a twinge of satisfaction that her replacement had nearly _missed_ the story. She hoped Hal creeped on Joselyn more than he ever did to her. Of course, she might _enjoy_ the attention, the little tart.

As she was stewing, they saw Metro Man land next to Joselyn and say, "Rox… Oh. Where's Roxie?"

"Did he think I was blonde all of a sudden? We look _nothing_ alike, even from a distance!" Roxanne said scathingly.

"You…you didn't tell him?" Megamind asked her in surprise.

"You're the only ones I've told, and I wouldn't have done _that_ if my apartment hadn't been broken into. I wasn't ready to spread the news just yet." She was keeping an ear on the new report and heard Joselyn basically say she wasn't working there anymore. "Great! And now everybody knows! Doesn't she know that's confidential information? And she just said it on _live_ TV! Can I sue for that? I need to call my lawyer. Oh my god, my phone! I probably have a hundred messages from my mom alone!"

A brainbot was suddenly in front of her with her purse and she grabbed it while thanking the cyborg. She noticed that the news report was paused while she dug out her phone. She flipped it open and saw that she had thirty-two messages and forty-seven missed calls. She frowned and showed Megamind the screen with the amounts on it. His hand started to rub her back and she felt herself calming and leaning into him slightly.

"Sorry guys, give me a few minutes to check these messages?"

"No problem, Miss Ritchi. I'll just go start on lunch, none of us had a great breakfast," Minion said as he left the room.

"You don't seriously make poor Minion make every meal, do you?" she asked, not really wanting to listen to the messages.

"Of course not. He ran me out of the kitchen after the second time I set out a cold can of beans for supper. Said he would take care of it himself. And I'm usually tied up in the workshop with some plan or another, so it works out," Megamind answered easily.

"Ahh, the 'ol' screw up the task so badly you get forbidden from doing it again' routine. That's a good one. I approve."

"Do I hear the sound of experience? What could you possibly do that would be less than perfect?"

"I've heard that I'm a terrible screamer." Megamind let out a short bark of laughter at that. "That's how I got out of dishes as a teenager. My growth spurts made me unbearably clumsy. All knees and elbows, you know," she confessed with a conspiratorial smile.

She sighed and looked at the phone in her hand. She leaned back against Megamind and pulled one of his arms around her. She said, "Settle in. This might be a long one." She turned her phone on speaker and listened to the first of many messages.

/\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\

"Yes, _Mother,_" Roxanne said with heavy exasperation into the phone. "Look I _said_ I was sorry for not calling you sooner, but I was in shock and trying to hold my life together."

"_And what am I supposed to tell the girls, hmm? Not only are you unmarried, but now you're unemployed!" _her mother griped on the other end of the phone.

"Well, gee. I'm sorry that losing _my_ job has interfered with _your _life so much."

"_And I suppose you'll want to be moving back in. You know I don't have the room-"_

"Oh no," Roxanne interrupted. "_Believe me; _I won't move back in with you no matter _what_ happens."

"_I knew this would happen. I always told Ralph he shouldn't encourage you, and-"_

"Well," she said coldly, "I'm glad I lived up to your expectations then. Goodbye." She hung up with a snap of the phone and a sigh.

"I swear that woman only talks with me because she gave birth to me," she complained as she leaned back against Megamind and rubbed the bridge of her nose to attempt to ward off a headache. He had taken off his spiked 'mantle' (as he insisted it was called, and not 'cape-thing') and he was surprisingly nice to cuddle into. "I'm sorry you had to hear some of the drama. If I ever have children, I will _never_ treat them the way she treats me. I don't care _how_ mad I get at them." He put his arms around her and gave her a hug. He dropped a kiss into her hair and she felt herself smile. "Thanks. Can you be a dear and just hang around when I have to talk to her?"

"That doesn't sound very ee-vil at all, my dear Roxanne," he playfully protested.

"Ok, can you hang around and be menacing when I have to talk to her? Then hug me when no one can see you being not-terribly-evil?"

"That sounds like a reasonable compromise," he agreed.

"Megamind? I… have something I need to confess before I make the next call."

"Roxanne! You have secrets from me?" he asked in fake shock. She chuckled and reached up to lightly hit his arm.

"Says the guy with a secret hideout. But yes, I have secrets. And here's one: I'm single," she admitted.

"You don't say, _Miss_ Ritchi?" he drawled.

"No, I mean I'm not in a relationship. And I haven't been for a very long time."

"But…but Metro-" Megamind spluttered and she interrupted him.

"Everyone thought that, but there's not an ounce of truth to it. I got a couple of exclusives because I was a hungry young reporter, you started kidnapping me, Metro Man saved me; I got another exclusive, rinse and repeat. Occasionally I'd be a plus one for him if I wanted to get into some place or another to catch wind of a story or if he didn't want to go stag. Heck, I think I've talked more with you in the kidnapping chair than I have with him. Of course, I wasn't very cordial in the kidnapping chair…" she admitted.

"As you have every right not to be. It's doesn't set the right tone if the victim is chattering away like it's Sunday brunch. Although I still want to register a complaint about the lack of screaming," he teased her.

She smiled a devious little smile and lifted an eyebrow suggestively, "I bet you could teach me to scream."

"_Miss_ _Ritchi_!" he said in shock. She glanced up at him and saw his face was a bright purple.

"Nope. When you scream my name, it'd better be _Roxanne," _she teased some more in a husky voice as she turned around in his arms.

His mouth was opening and closing like a fish. She took pity on him and reached up to kiss his lips. That seemed to snap him out of it as he returned her kiss. They pulled back for air for just a moment, then came hungrily back together. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and ran it along his. She felt him shiver as they both moaned. One of his hands came up to the back of her head and ran through her hair. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. She pulled back for air, then dove right back in. After a moment she realized she was leaning backward and pulling him on top of her.

Soon his arms were under her supporting the both of them and his comforting weight had settled on top of her. His kisses were somehow both sweet and demanding and she couldn't get enough. She moved one of her hands to the back of his head but he gasped and pulled away slightly. She moved the hand to his cheek and said, "Sorry. Too much?" She had noticed his reactions to touch but was breathing too hard to get more than that out right now.

He shook his head, "Fine. Wasn't expecting it," he gasped out. She nodded and trailed her hand back to the back of his head and ran her hand along it. Then she applied pressure and brought his mouth back down to meet hers. There was a cool touch of leather on her lower back and she realized that her shirt had ridden up a bit. She took her hand away from his back and moved it behind her to find his. She encouraged it to slip up under her shirt so that he touched her skin. She brought her hand back to his back as he started caressing hers. She moaned happily and pulled back again for air.

She maneuvered her forehead so that it was resting against his as they caught their breath. She noticed that he was flushed, and she figured she was just as pink as he was purple. She became slightly embarrassed when she realized that her ankles had locked around his lower legs effectively pinning him against her. She continued to slowly move her hand on the back of his head, and he kept up with the movements on her back under her shirt.

She moaned and gave him a gentle kiss. "I have a phone call to make," she whispered against his lips.

"Make it later," he breathed before he reached down to kiss her again.

"It's late. I need to call Metro Man so he doesn't come looking for me," she said softly.

"That's true," he said and kissed her again. "That's one person that I don't want to interrupt us," he continued, followed by another kiss.

She sat them both up and looked into his eyes. "I was thinking… what if you took me off the singles' market? We do the whole exclusive dating thing?" she made sure to clarify. If not, he would probably run her to the altar tonight to make her his 'evil queen.'

His intense green eyes widened in his expressive blue face. "Roxanne," he breathed reverently. "Are you sure? I mean," he gestured at himself, "Supervillain. Bad publicity. Very probably alienate-shion… Your job…"

She placed her hands on his chest and looked into his eyes, "I'm sure I want to try." She leaned forward and kissed him passionately again. Just as their arms wrapped around each other, they heard dishes break and a gasping scream behind them causing them to jump apart in surprise.

"Sorry! Sorry, Sir! I'll just go and… yeah go," they heard Minion stutter from behind them.

"No, it's ok, Minion," Roxanne told him as she discreetly straightened her shirt. "I have to make a phone call anyway."

"Right. I'll just go and fix a couple more plates again. Sorry about that, Sir. I'll send in a brainbot to clean up the mess," Minion babbled as he hurriedly left the room.

Roxanne giggled and looked up at Megamind, "Oops." He just smiled at her.

"Ok, operation call Metro Man," she said with a business-like tone. "We can't let him know I'm here or he'll think the worst. Megamind, can you clear out all the brainbots from the area? You can stay, but you can't _say_ anything. I'm afraid Minion will have to stay away. He'd be able to hear the suit. Can you put one of these TVs on a local channel? And is there a radio in here? That needs to be playing softly on a radio station."

Megamind pressed a button on his watch while she fiddled with a remote, "Minion, Code: stay in the kitchen until further notice."

Minion's voice came from Megamind's watch, "Code: yes, Sir." He dropped his hand and took the remote from her. He turned on one of the idle televisions and tuned it to a movie. Using the same remote, an additional audio system came on. He set it to a radio station and turned the volume down like it was just background noise. Then he walked over to a computer that she honestly hadn't noticed before and quickly typed something on it.

Megamind then turned and grandly gestured to her, "The stage is set, my little actress."

Roxanne smiled and picked up her forgotten cup of long-cold coffee. Grimacing, she took a couple gulps. She hated cold coffee. It always coated her mouth something fierce. Which is exactly what she wanted at the moment. She looked at Megamind and put a finger over her lips to let him know she was about to call. Then she lay down on the couch and called Wayne. As the phone was ringing, she threw an arm over her eyes to help her acting.

"_Roxie! I was starting to get worried about you!"_ she heard Wayne answer the phone.

"Yeah, I figured that out with the fifteen missed calls. What's going on?" she asked while purposely sounding groggy and her mouth making involuntary noises while trying to get that coffee film off her teeth.

"_It looks like Megamind was up to something last night and it blew up in his face. When I saw you weren't with the news crew I thought he might have you somewhere." _

Her response was just a grunt of acknowledgement that she heard him. She couldn't reply to that without lying, so she didn't. Wayne could typically tell when someone straight-up lied, so you had to be clever about it.

"_The new reporter for KMCP said that you were fired? I'm sorry, Roxie."_

"Yeah," she agreed. "Totally unfair."

"_You ok? You don't sound too good."_

"I will be. M'place got robbed. Staying with friends for a few days. We might have overdone it last night. Tha's why I jus' got your message."

"_Your place got robbed? Need me to do anything?"_

"Naw, they got caught. Made a stupid mistake." She made a choked sound in the back of her throat then said in a slightly panicky voice, "Look, I gotta go." She started to get up from the couch.

"_Alright, Roxie. Call me if you need anything."_

"Alright. See ya. Bye." She hung up the phone and smirked at Megamind.

Megamind raised an eyebrow and gave her a few slow claps, "Very nicely done, Roxanne. If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn that you were hung over."

She huffed on her fingernails and buffed them on her shirt. Then she replied, "That _was_ the idea."

"Think he bought it?"

"Sounded like it. It's not like I lied or anything."

"Oh, but you did. You let your performance lie _for _you. It was sheer artistry."

"Well, you're the expert in all things evil. Now I believe Minion mentioned lunch?"

Megamind lifted his watch, touched it and said, "Minion, Code: All Clear." Minion's voice answered in the affirmative and he lowered the watch again.

"So, what's that?" Roxanne asked curiously. "A watch with a two-way radio?" Megamind looked at the watch for a long moment and glanced up at her a couple times. She could see he was conflicted about telling her. "Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I know you have top-secret stuff everywhere."

"I was just pondering for a moment. No matter! Yes, they can be used as a communicate-shion device, but that is not their primary function. We're still testing them, but they are holographic disguise watches," he said proudly.

"Really? How does that work?"

He smiled, apparently excited to show off his invention. "Well first it needs a template to copy," he said as he brought the watch up to his eye level again and pressed a button. A grid of blue light came from the watch and traveled from her head down to her feet. "Add a voiceprint, twist the dial and voila!" Suddenly, Megamind's image seemed to glitch in the air and then Roxanne was staring at a copy of herself. "Well, what do you think?" he asked, sounding just like her.

Roxanne's jaw dropped just a little, "Megamind, that's _amazing_." She walked around him and looked over her own image. "Oh, you kept your own eye color. It's weird to see myself though. If I touch you, would I feel what you're wearing or would I feel what I'm seeing?"

"It's supposed to produce a hard-light holographic structure, so you should only feel what you see," he told her and extended his arm. "Want to help gather empirical data, Roxanne? I need to finish testing before I declare them field worthy." She took his hand in both of hers and ran one hand up his arm trying to feel where his leather suit started. All she felt was skin until she got to the image of her shirt sleeve. Curious, she brought her hand back down to his, closed her eyes and tried again. Same thing.

"I feel what your watch is projecting," she told him. "What about you?"

"I felt what is actually there. It's not designed to fool the wearer's senses after all, just the observer."

"Knock, knock, Sir. Is it safe to come in?" Minion's voice drifted in from the hallway.

"Yes, yes. Come in. We're decent," Megamind told his henchfish. Minion came in carrying a tray of delicious smelling food, pausing when he saw two identical Roxannes.

"Miss Ritchi, what do you think about the watch?" he asked as he brought the tray to the coffee table. Megamind turned the watch off and came over to the couch.

"It's amazing. But not as amazing as the aroma from that tray! I'm starving," she complimented as she sat on the couch and grabbed a plate. After they were all settled, they started watching the news reports from last night again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I still have no affiliation with Dreamworks and don't own Megamind or any other characters.

Chapter 7

"That's mine. And that. This _was_, but now it's broken," Roxanne muttered. Minion and she were going through everything they took from those three guys last night and identifying her stuff that was initially taken. Minion had set everything up last night and rehydrated it. Now she just had to go through it all. They were putting all her stuff in neat piles to be dehydrated later. Megamind had excused himself because he had some plans he needed to put on paper. So it was just her and Minion for a while.

She looked at her growing 'my stuff' pile and sighed. Soon she would be all squared away in her apartment. Alone. With no job. She continued sorting through the stuff and felt her spirits sink lower as her thoughts swirled in her head.

"Miss Ritchi?" Minion asked to get her attention.

"Hmm?" she discretely wiped her eyes and looked up at him.

"Are you feeling up to this right now? We can sort through this later if you like," he offered.

"No, it's fine. Needs to be done, right?" she said with a weak smile.

"Not necessarily, and not this instant," he told her. "You can talk to me, Miss Ritchi. I might be able to help."

She smiled at him, "I'm sure you could, Minion, but my thoughts are so jumbled _I_ don't even know what's going through my head right now."

"That happens to Sir all the time. It helps if you give voice to them," Minion encouraged. He held up his mechanical right hand and said, "I won't judge. And if you don't want me to tell Sir, I…" he looked thoughtful for a moment and continued, "I can't promise that, but I'm still willing to listen."

She chuckled and gave him a warm smile. "Alright, alright," she conceded. He bobbed in his version of a nod to encourage her to continue. "Sorting through this just reminded me that soon I'll be back in my apartment. Alone. Which is weird because I've never minded living by myself before. But then I've always had a job to go to, and I don't have that now. I guess the thought of sitting alone in my apartment for days on end is getting to me. I mean, I think being here with you two has helped me cope a little and I don't think I'm ready to let that go." She blushed a little as she voiced the next thought, "And then there's the eventual fall-out of Megamind and me dating. Can you imagine? I think I have an idea that will help a little, but my reporting career will be over." She fell silent as she got the most important thoughts off her mind.

Minion stayed silent for a little while then said, "Well your first problem is easily fixed. Don't go back," he said simply. "Stay here with Sir and me. We have the room and enjoy your company. And you're right that there may be a backlash when everyone finds out that you're dating Sir. It would then be _safer_ to be here than in your apartment."

"It's a little quick to be at the 'moving in with your boyfriend' phase," she protested. "Technically, we just decided to start going out today."

"Well, ok. But stay here for a few days. Things won't seem as impossible as they do right now," he put a metallic hand on her shoulder as they stayed silent for a moment. "Miss Ritchi, I do have a _delicate_ question to ask you, and please don't take it the wrong way," he said nervously.

She nodded and replied, "Go ahead, Minion."

"Now, I know you've had a bad week. I understand, I really do!" He removed his hand from her shoulder and started clanking his fingers together nervously, "But what are your intentions with Sir? I don't want him to get hurt if you're just using him as an emotional crutch."

There was that big brother instinct that she knew Minion had. She smiled a little as she thought about Megamind over the past couple days. "I can't guarantee what will happen, but I'd like to give us a chance. I think I'm finally seeing past the mask, and… it's nice," she shrugged and felt her cheeks heat up a little in embarrassment. Minion gave her an appraising look and finally bobbed a nod.

"Minion!" she heard Megamind yell from wherever he was holed up.

"Oh, I have to go, Miss Ritchi!" Minion perked up and exclaimed. "Will you be all right here or would you like to retire to the viewing room?" he asked while already heading to the doorway.

"Minion! Where are you, you heaping hunk of metal?!" she heard Megamind yell again.

"Coming, Sir!" Minion yelled in response without any visible response to the insult. He then turned in his tank to look at her questioningly.

"Go on," she shooed. "I'll stay here and sort. I'll be ok." He gave her a toothy smile, turned back around in his tank and hurriedly clunked out of the room.

"I'll be ok," she repeated to herself in a whisper and turned back to the stuff pile.

-/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\-

Earlier that day Megamind asked to 'take her out on a date since they were… you know… dating now.' She had readily agreed and was a little surprised when he told her to be ready at such a late hour. And now Roxanne couldn't help but smile when she saw where they were going for their first official date. Trust Megamind to be unique.

"Will we be able to see?" she asked curiously.

"Oh absolutely! They have night-lighting and we have brainbots to help if any additional illuminat-shion is needed," Megamind assured her.

"Ok, Sir. I have the security camera recording from last night's footage. You're good to go," Minion informed them. He had driven them and then parked to apparently do some hacking on a computer.

"How'd you do that?" Roxanne asked curiously.

"Oh, we wrote a backdoor program a few years ago," Megamind waved his hand dismissively. "Come, Roxanne." He opened the door of the backseat and held it open for her. She exited the car and took his offered elbow. He was wearing his normal villain costume, but was still going without his gloves. She was wearing a pair of black pants and a drapey blue blouse. Not that she had much choice in her color palette until she made it back to her apartment…

He led her to a nearly-hidden maintenance door instead of the main gates and stopped, dropping her arm. He ducked a hand under his cape and pulled out two thin pieces of metal and gave her a wink.

"One moment and I'll open the VIP entrance, my dear Roxanne," he said grandly as he inserted the metal into the keyhole.

"The VIP entrance on my very first breaking and entering into a public place. Be still my beating heart," she said drily, but with a smile.

"Really, Miss Ritchi?" he teased back, "That's surprising coming from an investigative reporter of your caliber. And I was under the impression that teenagers do this sort of thing regularly." The lock clicked and Megamind opened the door with a smile. "Ladies first," he gestured.

"I'll admit that I've _snuck_ into places I shouldn't have been, but it's never involved lockpicks," she said as she entered the maintenance corridor.

"Sounds like you're not sneaking into the right places. All the good stuff is kept under lock and key," he replied as he shut the door behind them. He tentatively reached for her hand and then guided her forward in the low light.

"So this is one of those 'right places?'"

"Let's find out, shall we?" he opened a door at the other end of the corridor and gestured outside. She looked outside and saw the dimly-lit entry plaza of the Metro City Zoo. There were brainbots idly floating here and there providing extra light. She always thought the zoo was beautiful in the daylight, but it was absolutely gorgeous at night the way everything was softly lit. She walked out into the plaza a little way and spun around, taking it all in.

"Megamind, it's amazing!" she told him with a smile. She walked back over to him and held both his hands then pulled him closer for a kiss. When she pulled back she caught a dreamy expression on his face before he opened his eyes and smiled at her. She was starting to like that particular smile she had only seen during the last couple of days.

"Come, Roxanne," he said softly and led her deeper into the zoo with their hands intertwined and brainbots trailing along.

They strolled along the pathways hand in hand with the sounds of exotic animals accompanying them. Occasionally they would stop and observe some of the exhibits, but they were mostly enjoying each other's company. When they walked through the aquarium, the lights in the building reflected through the tanks, casting a wavy blue light in their path. They entered a section that was surrounded on both sides and overhead with the aquarium and Roxanne was surprised to see a table with two chairs sitting in the middle of the open area.

Roxanne gasped and asked, "What's this?"

Megamind smiled slyly and answered, "What's a date without dinner?" He led her to the table and held the chair for her. She gave him an answering shy smile and sat in the offered chair. He gently pushed her chair in and sat across from her. To her surprise, he drew his dehydration gun, grabbed the candle from the center of the table and lit it with a flash of yellow light. He put the candle back and his gun disappeared back under the table, presumably into its holster. Immediately, several brainbots flew in and set a plate of chicken and vegetables in front of both of them along with a chilled bottle of champagne and some glasses and silverware.

"Dinner is served, my dear," Megamind said smugly. One of the brainbots opened the bottle of champagne and the cork went flying. A second brainbot swooped in quickly and caught the cork in midair before it could hit the glass above them. Roxanne couldn't help but laugh. The one that still held the bottle filled their glasses, set the bottle down and flew off with the rest of the brainbots.

Roxanne picked up the glass, twirled the liquid inside and looked across the table coyly at Megamind, "If I didn't know any better, Mr. Supervillain, I would think you were trying to seduce me." She took a sip of her drink.

"So tell me, Roxanne," he started in that smooth voice he sometimes used when their banter turned flirty during kidnappings, "is it working?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I _do _seem to be in your evil clutches," she smiled and continued, "All alone. What's a girl to do?"

"All I ask is that you enjoy my company."

"I think I can handle that," she replied with a smirk. She held up her glass and said, "To changing perceptions."

"And new beginnings," he answered and they clinked their glasses together and took a simultaneous sip. They stayed silent a moment as they started on their dinner.

"Ok, I _have_ to ask," she said after a moment. "How did you light the candle with your dehydration gun? Shouldn't it be a blue cube?"

"I didn't have the dehydration setting selected," he answered matter-of-factly with a wave of his fork.

"Oh? I didn't know it had different settings."

He gave her an excited smile since she asked about one of his gadgets. He moved his chair right next to hers and drew his dehydration gun, held it flat in his hand and showed it to her. It was mostly black with gold trim and decoration. There was a glass chamber at the business end with gold-colored strips that was probably to protect the glass. In the center of the gun was teal lettering. The word 'dehydrate' was spelled out in the middle with '-stroy' above it and '-compress' below it.

"See?" he asked. "I call it a de-gun. I twist the dial here and it changes the settings. I keep it on dehydrate because it's the most useful and generally the safest." He turned the dial to demonstrate and she saw other words flash by '-bilitate,' '-moralize,' '-coupage,' '-regulate,' and '-ath ray' before it came back to '-stroy.'

"Hold up. Does that say 'death ray?'" she asked. She had always thought he was mostly harmless. Why does he have a death ray setting on his gun?

"Oh, that setting merely renders a person temporarily unconscious. 'Deconsciousness' sounds too ridiculous for one of my terrifying inventions. So it says 'death ray' instead," he explained. She gave a mental sigh of relief that she hadn't misjudged him after all.

"Too ridiculous? Unlike decoupage?" she asked.

"That's useful if I want to make sure a dehydration cube doesn't rehydrate. It's a sealant of sorts," he explained. Her curiosity was getting the better of her and she brought a hand up and ran it along the gun while it was still balanced in his hand.

"It really is beautiful," she told him while tracing some of the inlaid gold designs.

"I can make you one," he said softly and a little shyly with a blush. "With just the dehydration function if you want. For protection."

"I'd like that," she said just as softly. She was surprised that she actually meant it too. Most guys offer jewelry and he offers a ray gun. She brought a hand up to his cheek and turned his face towards her. She was a little caught off-guard by the intensity of emotions she could see in his eyes. She reached over and kissed him softly. He set the gun down on the table and rested his hand on top of hers.

"Oh, Roxanne," he whispered reverently when she pulled away. She smiled softly at him and ran her hand from his cheek down to his sharp chin and back up. "I'm still having difficulty believing that we're here," he confessed.

"It's different," she agreed and then continued, "but I think it feels right." She kissed him again. When she pulled away she said, "We should probably finish this lovely dinner before it gets cold."

"You're not wrong, of course," he said. He moved his plate closer to him instead of moving his chair back to the other side of the table. They continued with their meal teasing each other and exchanging lingering little touches. Once they finished, the brainbots came back and cleared away the dishes, table and the chairs.

When they exited the aquarium, Roxanne slid her arm beneath his cape and let her hand rest on Megamind's lower back and leaned into him as they walked the path. Being careful of his spikes of course. He tensed initially, but soon relaxed and moved one of his hands around to her waist and pulled her closer.

"So… touch is a bit of an issue, huh?" Roxanne asked gently. It hadn't escaped her notice, but she hadn't wanted to bring it up before.

"A…a little. Yeah," he admitted quietly.

"Do…Is that a choice? Have I been making you uncomfortable?" she asked, suddenly worried.

"NO! No, oh Evil gods above, no, Roxanne!" Megamind raised his voice in a slight panic. Then continued a bit more subdued, "I just… I'm not used to it is all. It…It's been a long time…"

"How long has it been? If you don't mind me asking, anyway."

He gave her a slight squeeze in answer and replied in a rather matter-of-fact voice, "It's been approximately thirty-four years, four months, and fifteen days."

"Oh my god! Megamind!" she stopped in shock pulling him to a stop too.

"Yes, Roxanne?" he asked, and she could swear she saw slight confusion in his eyes.

"That's terrible!" she told him.

"No, it was quite nice," he replied with a fond smile. "It _is_ a shame that so much time has passed between then and now though."

"That was the part I meant when I called it terrible, you goofy genius," she said with exasperation.

"Oh, I see. Well honestly, Roxanne, it's really not a good idea to be touchy-feely in prison," he explained while twiddling his fingers in the air.

"What about before prison?" she asked.

"I told you already," he tilted of his head with a small look of confusion.

"What?" she felt like she was missing something.

"There was the last time I was touched, there was prison, and now you," he explained slowly and holding up a finger for each point.

"You've been in prison for thirty-four years," she said sarcastically.

"Of course not, Roxanne," he explained patiently, "We escaped when I was about fifteen. Since then I've stayed out more often than not."

"You _escaped_ when you were fifteen? When did you get put in? Shouldn't you have been in Juvie?" she asked.

"We arrived at the prison thirty-four years, four months and fourteen days ago. That's where we grew up," he shrugged.

"You can't grow up in a prison!" she exclaimed in a shocked voice. How could anyone do that to a little boy?

"In point of fact, yes you can, my dear Roxanne."

"Didn't any social workers try to get you into foster care?" she asked.

"It never came up. And from what I understand, I probably did better staying in the prison than I would have if I went into 'the system.' I was fed, clothed, sheltered, had my own bed, and most of the time was protected from others. And I was able to protect Minion, until I could build him a decent suit," he told her.

"My poor supervillain. I'm even more amazed by how sweet you turned out," she said and gave him a squeeze.

"Ee-vil is not sweet, Roxanne," he reminded her.

"As long as you stay sweet to me, the rest will sort itself out."

"How's this?" he asked, then turned her towards him and kissed her.

"Perfect," she murmured when they pulled away. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him again. When they pulled back she asked, "Can I give you a massage tonight when we get back?"

"I'd like that," he murmured and pulled her back in for another kiss. They spent a few minutes deepening their kisses until they were both panting. "Want to come back to my place?" he asked slightly teasingly.

"I thought you'd never ask," she replied with a smile. They both headed to the exit to meet Minion for their ride back to the lair.

**AN:** Thanks for continuing reading, and as always, thanks for your reviews! They are always appreciated!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Megamind and am not affiliated with Dreamworks in any way.

**AN:** Another short one. Sorry guys, that's just the way it worked out. Interesting fact I just noticed: this story is now my longest one (word-count wise) to date. And once again, thanks for the reviews everyone!

Chapter 8

Megamind woke up feeling more content than he had in quite a while. He was thrilled that his first date with Roxanne went so well, but he was starting to wonder why he shared so much. Not that he didn't want to, and wasn't going to _eventually_ tell her what she wanted to know if this relationship worked out. It was almost like his mental filters were lowering and instead of his usual defenses of deflection and denial, he was pouring out his secrets. Granted, he thought it was common knowledge that he had grown up in Metro City's Prison for the Criminally Gifted so he wasn't aware of that being a secret. Heck, he didn't even think to blindfold Roxanne on the way back. She did it herself.

He sat up with a smile as he remembered the massage that she gave him last night. She had him take off his pajama top and didn't seem to mind all the blue skin that revealed. He had never felt as relaxed as he did after she was done kneading his muscles. He was planning to do some work afterwards, but just couldn't convince himself to get out of bed.

Well, no rest for the wicked. Minion's salt water cycle was fast approaching and he needed to continue work on Project Vacation. He got out of bed and snapped his fingers for the brainbots to get him into his normal villain attire. When they were finished, he once again removed his gloves. He wanted to soak up every moment of skin to skin contact that Roxanne would allow, and keeping his hands uncovered was a good way to go about it.

He walked to his planning area to go over the designs of the Metal Detector Deflector he drew up the previous day. Today he would get started on building it and Roxanne's dehydration gun and he would have Minion book their vacation. There was no doubt that he would have all his needed inventions in working order before then.

"Morning, Min-yon!" he greeted when he spotted his loyal henchfish with a laundry basket.

"Good morning, Sir! How did it go last night? I didn't want to impose in the car," Minion asked.

"It was incredible! And you! That dinner was _inspired_, you fantastic fish you!" Megamind enthused.

"Oh, it was nothing, Sir. Was the setting appropriate? I mean… I know _I _always liked the area, but I started having doubts after I got it set up," Minion asked nervously.

"Absolutely appropriate, you astounding ape," Megamind replied grandly. If the look of amazement on Roxanne's face when she saw the setup was anything to go by, then Minion did a fine job indeed. Minion had that bashful look on his face that indicated he had about as much praise as he could take for any given task, so Megamind dropped it and moved on to today's plans.

"Minion, I'll be working on the Metal Detector Deflector today and I think I'll simultaneously test the disguise watch's longevity. Keep the brainbots away from the planning area or they might think I'm an intruder. Why don't you see what you can do about booking us that trip? I think a two week stay would suffice. Somewhere tropic-kal and as private as you can get it. Think we can rent out an island to ourselves? I don't want to be wearing these watches the entire time. And come get me for lunch. You know I tend to lose track of time," he instructed.

"I'm on it, Sir!" Minion replied with a wide smile.

"Oh, and Minion?" he said a little nervously. He wasn't quite sure what his friend's reaction would be to his question. This was supposed to be _their_ trip after all. Minion turned in his bowl and looked at him, waiting. "Do… Would you mind very much if I asked Roxanne to join us?"

Minion gave him an appraising look then finally answered, "If that's what you want, Sir. And I think it would do Miss Ritchi some good to get away from everything here. I think she knows that too and that's why she's reluctant to return to her apartment."

"Thanks, Minion," Megamind breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, I think she's waking up. If you see her before I do, send her my way. I'll ask her then." He started walking off to his work area.

"How do you know that, Sir?" Minion asked as he was leaving.

His thoughts were full of his new invention so he didn't register much of what Minion asked him. He just replied airily, "I'm a genius, Minion. I know many things," and left the room.

When he got to his planning area, he got a scrap of paper, wrote the time down and turned on his disguise watch. As usual, the air around his arms seem to glitch and then reform slightly differently. He was now looking at the sleeves of a pair of coveralls with a set of pale-colored hands coming out of the sleeves. He sighed and dropped his hands. It wasn't the cloak and dagger style hiding they went through when they first got out on their own, but it was hiding all the same.

Damn inferior life-forms and their ill-informed prejudices. Here he was, the most intelligent being on the planet, and he was forced into hiding. And it was all Metro Man's fault. If he had landed where his pod was aiming, then _he_ would have had the benefit of being raised where money could overlook a lot of differences. And even supposing he landed in the prison, if they hadn't been in the same kindergarten class he probably would have had the chance to win over some of his classmates. But of course that didn't work out. The only thing he learned in that place was just how much more intelligent than his peers he actually _was_ and that he was destined to be a supervillain.

He shook off his depressing thoughts and turned his radio on. There was nothing quite like the booming base beats and guitar riffs of rock and roll to get his mental wheels turning. He went over the blue print he had strung up in his idea cloud the day before and looked it over. Soon he had jotted down a couple more ideas and had them suspended on red strings near the initial blue print. He smirked at his unparalleled genius and went to his part pile to collect what he suspected he would need.

His part pile wasn't accurately named any longer. It had started as a heap of scavenged material but over the years, it had slowly morphed from scrap heap to organized warehouse. He had shelves full of recent technology like TVs, MP3 players, video game systems, hair dryers, etc., in addition to just 'computer parts.' He was never sure when he would need to cannibalize something at the last minute, so they started keeping a stash. Today he grabbed one of the MP3 players, figuring it would be the correct size he wanted. He grabbed a few other odds and ends and came back to his work station.

He had just cracked open the MP3 player when he heard Roxanne's voice over his music, "Megamind? You in here?"

He straightened up and felt a smile grace his features. He turned down the radio slightly and called, "Yes, I'm in here." He frowned as he heard a voice different from his own. He momentarily forgot he was using the watch. "I'm using the watch," he warned her before she got close enough to see him. He looked at the time. Looks like it made an hour without any problems.

"Yeah, Minion told me," she said as she entered the room. Her gaze sweep across his idea cloud with a look of wonder and he realized this was an area he hadn't allowed her in before. He hadn't wanted her to see his plans. Why wasn't it bothering him now? Then she looked at him and actually sputtered, "S…Sam?!" she asked incredulously.

"What?" he asked right back to her, confused as to what she meant.

"Coffee shop Sam!" she exclaimed, pointing and approaching him. A look of realization crossed her face, "That's how you knew I was looking for you. Minion is Max isn't he? Sir and Minion, Sam and Max," she laughed then. "I guess my plan of wondering around the industrial district hoping to find you actually worked. Man, I'm good," she said with a hint of pride.

He smirked and crossed his arms, "But does it count if you didn't know it was us?"

"Sure it does! I found you, you brought me here, goal accomplished," she replied. "I really should have at least suspected it was you though with that unmistakably gorgeous eye color you have."

"I would hope that you wouldn't have had _reason_ to suspect it was me until I revealed my watch to you. Otherwise, it's fairly useless," he replied.

"True, I guess. So, what is this room?" she asked, her curiosity coming out.

"For want of more succinct terminology, it's my invention area. I do planning and drafting work over there. Suspend ideas in my idea cloud there and this is where I cobble together whatever I'm working on," he explained.

She was looking over everything and instead of a sense of panic that he would expect; he instead felt a sense of pride. "It's amazing, Megamind," she said with a smile. "I never really appreciated all your inventions and stuff over the years since, you know, I was a target, but it's really very impressive."

"Thanks, Roxanne. It's nice for my genius to be recognized," he replied a little smugly.

"Please. You do enough of that yourself," she snarked back.

"A little positive reinforcement never hurt anybody," he said with a smile and she laughed.

"So what are you working on Mister Genius?" she asked while looking down at his workbench. When she noticed the MP3 player she added, "And did an iPod really have to give up its life to do it?"

"I think I like 'Evil Overlord' better, Miss Ritchi," he said with a grin. "I'm working on a Metal Detector Deflector so Minion and I can go on vacation without Minion sacrificing his suit." He gave her a sideways glance and said softly, "We have room for one more if you would like to join us…"

"What happened to 'evil never takes a vacation?'" she asked.

"Evil changed its mind," he reached out and held both of her hands. "A two week tropic-kal vacation. Sun. Sand. Snorkeling. My treat. What do you say? Minion's booking the trip now," he could feel his eyes almost begging her to accept. He didn't think he could spend that much time away from her after the last few days.

"I dunno… we've only been on one amazing date," she said, only putting up a token protest.

"Ahh, but we've known each other for years," he countered.

"I've been under a lot of stress lately."

"A vacation is the perfect cure."

"My passport is expired."

"Easily fixed."

"I'll need new clothes."

"Then let's go shopping," he said with a wide smile. He had her. Clothes sounded like a last defense.

"I guess I'm going on vacation," she said with a shy smile. He laughed, picked her up and twirled around. He set her down and leaned in for a kiss. Suddenly he was stopped by her index finger on his lips. She reached down to his wrist and turned the watch face. He saw a brief flash of blue light and realized that she turned off the watch. She removed her finger from his lips and said, "I only want to kiss you, Megamind. Otherwise it feels like I'm cheating."

He smiled and kissed her deeply. He could look like _anyone_ and she wanted to kiss _him_? How did he get so lucky? She pulled back to get some air and he rested their foreheads together. This was starting to feel less awkward and more right every time they shared this intimate gesture. He smiled fondly at his girlfriend. He had always had a crush on the woman in his arms, but those feeling paled in comparison to what he was feeling for her now. He hoped that he wouldn't do anything to make her ever leave him.

He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss and asked, "So, shopping?"

"Sounds like a date," she agreed and kissed him back.

"Just don't mind my bad habits," he told her with another kiss. Hoping that would distract her a little. He knew that he still held shaky ground with his criminal habits.

"Five fingered discount?" she asked, pinpointing exactly what he was suggesting.

"I came in with those little blue cubes. The store definitely didn't carry any," he gave an innocent grin.

"Uh huh. I'm paying for my own stuff, got it?" she said while poking a finger in his chest.

"Nope. I will. I did mention that I was paying for the trip. That would include the shopping beforehand, I would think," he told her.

"Just because I don't have a job right now doesn't mean I need handouts, Megamind," she pushed away from him slightly and glared at him.

"I never said you did. But can't I buy my girlfriend some presents before we leave? And I think it would be helpful to take you with me so I can ensure I buy what you like," he tried. He didn't want Roxanne to not have what she wanted simply because she didn't think she could afford it.

"You make a persuasive argument… but no stealing for me," she said sternly.

He couldn't absolutely promise that so he said, "I'll do my best. Now I have a question. Does your purse get routinely inspected going into and out of these shopping arenas?"

"Of course not. Why? You're not gonna stuff dehydrated cubes into my purse," she told him as she thought she caught where he was going with the question.

"No, no. I thought I would put them into mine," he explained patiently.

"You. Have a purse?" Roxanne asked in disbelief. "Why?"

"No, not yet. When I reach into the pockets of my clothes while wearing the hologram it glitches slightly. But if I use an external method of conveyance, the illus-shion stays intact. Here, watch." He backed up and activated his watch again. Then he drew his de-gun. "See? Glitchy." He put the gun back in its holster to demonstrate again before switching the watch back off.

"So you're going to use a purse to get around that? Won't 'Sam' look silly with a purse?" she asked.

He laughed, "Oh, very much so. No, I'll need to scan a woman and use that as my disguise."

"And that's not going to bother you? Being a woman?"

"I won't actually _be_ a woman, Roxanne. I'll just project the appearance of one. It's just an illus-shion to blend in, what does it matter who it looks like? Now come, let's inform Minion of today's change of plans and head out. Oh, maybe you could use his watch and get some scans for him? So far he only has the visage of my incredibly handsome self and 'Max' programmed. And I don't think Sam and Max would blend in with the airport crowd with their work coveralls," he rambled as he grabbed her hand and pulled her excitedly from the room.

He yelled for his friend when he got out to the hallway and headed to where his answered originated. "Make that a trip for three," he told Minion when they entered the room and spotted him.

"I'm on it, Sir. Did you want to use a couple names we have on file, or something different?"

"Just use a couple clean ones we have on file. Let me know soon so I can get the passports straightened out. We're going shopping. Need anything? And if you loan Miss Ritchi your watch, we can pick up a few new scans for you. Found anything promising?"

"A few possibilities, Sir. I still need to see about availability. We _are_ booking this last minute. And I really do need a price you don't want me to go over. Some of these are really expensive."

He thought a moment and replied, "Fifty for the whole trip? Think that's enough?"

"It'll give me a starting point, thanks. Hopefully I'll have something booked when you get back from shopping. I'll call if it looks like it'll be over." Minion took off his watch and handed it over.

"We're off then, ciao!" Megamind said as he left the room still holding Roxanne's hand. He was about to go shopping! And it was an activity that he had never done during business hours before. Best of all; he was going to do it with Roxanne.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own Megamind and am still not affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway.

**AN:** I'd like to thank the awesome KBJones for helping me get this chapter started. Because this chapter almost wasn't written, the events were just going to be alluded to in later chapters. I think it turned out well, and there are a few parts that I'm glad I was able to add to the overall story. What do you think? I'm always anxious to know…

Chapter 9

Roxanne smiled as she stepped out of her car. She hadn't actually seen it since the last time she had been kidnapped, but wasn't at all surprised that Megamind and Minion had recovered it and had stored it in the lair. Megamind drove, since she had to be blindfolded as they left. He was currently using the illusion of dark-haired coffee-shop Sam in his work coveralls. He glanced around quickly as he shut the car door on the driver side. When he was satisfied that no one was looking, he slipped the keys into a pocket… somewhere…

Where_ did_ he put those keys? She couldn't see through the illusion, of course, but it's not like his villain outfit has _room_ for pockets. She shook off the thought and went ahead and linked arms with the disguised supervillain.

"You know… I've never been here during normal operating hours," he admitted to her.

"Does that mean you've been here during normal closed hours," she asked half-playfully, but curious too.

"Yes," he answered matter-of-factly. "But that was years ago, before we became self-sufficient. And before the rise of internet commerce."

"It hasn't changed much. But you know, the lights will be on and there will be people expecting you to _pay_ for things," she replied and nudged him a little.

"Yes, yes," he waved off with his free hand.

Roxanne noticed a young blonde woman wearing jeans and a black babydoll t-shirt talking on her cell phone leaving through the same doors they were heading towards. She tilted her head a little in her direction and asked Megamind, "What about her?"

Megamind glanced in her direction quickly and replied, "She will do. Stop walking and look through your purse for something." They stopped walking and she did as he asked. As the woman neared them, Megamind pressed a button on his watch. When she passed them, he turned and did something else she couldn't see. "Ok, I got it," he said as he turned back around. She closed up her purse and looked at him again.

"So, where are you going to change?" she asked.

"I think we should be able to find a secluded spot inside. Shall we?" he asked and presented his arm again. She placed her hand in the crook of his elbow and they entered the department store. Once they entered he quickly looked around as she pulled him towards a couple dress racks.

"Ok, here," she told him as she let go of his arm. "No one's around and these racks are tall enough to hide you."

"Miss Ritchi, if I didn't know better, I would think you're embarrassed to be seen with me," he said with a teasing smile.

"It's your plan," she reminded him. "I'm just helping. And apparently playing lookout," she teased but did glance around to check for anybody. There was a flash of blue light and when she looked back, there was the college-aged woman with longish blonde hair crouched down next to the dresses instead of coffee-shop Sam.

Megamind stood up and she was surprised to see that this new illusion was slightly shorter than the previous one. It could change height too? He brushed down his illusory clothes self-consciously. "Well, how do I look?" he asked in his borrowed voice then frowned thoughtfully. "I must admit that I'm not used to hearing my voice at quite this pitch and timber," he added, probably just to hear himself talk some more.

"You look fine. And, I've heard you get even higher pitched than that in your normal voice," she said with a smile.

"Nonsense," he replied quickly then continued, "And _if_ you did, then it wasn't for as long of a duration."

"Uh huh. Come on, _Megan_. Let's go buy you a purse then we can get started." She grabbed one of his hands and pulled him after her before dropping it again.

When he caught up and started walking beside her he asked, "What is with everyone assigning me a name? First Sam and now Megan. Technically, there isn't any reason we couldn't keep the 'Sam' moniker."

"Except if I start to slip I can still catch myself, Mega-n," she said with a slight giggle. "Ok, purses should be just behind the escalators." She took in the outfit he appeared to be wearing and said, "I would suggest something casual since you're in jeans and a t-shirt."

"I'll concede to your fashion advice, Roxanne," he replied magnanimously as they entered the purse section of the store.

It took much longer than Roxanne would have thought for Megamind to pick out a one-time-use only purse. Especially once she pointed out the anti-theft pins that they all had in an effort to keep him from inadvertently setting off the store alarm. He then opened nearly every purse to try to find one that might be missing the tag. Just to be stubborn.

"I thought you liked that black one with the studs. Just get that one. It's big enough for all your stuff and it can pull off casual," she suggested, hoping to move him along.

"I guess…" he replied while still sounding unsure. "You could have told me about these white bar things. It would have been a simple matter to bring or design a tool to get them free."

She sighed, "I didn't think about it. It's just part of shopping at the mall, and I think some of them have ink. Most department stores have something like that on all their merchandise."

"It's incredibly frustrating," he griped, but picked up the purse she mentioned.

"Only if you're being a rebel," she chided gently because another person was now within earshot.

"Well, of course," he grinned at her and started walking to a checkout. They managed to buy the purse without any issue. Except that Megamind was entirely too interested in the little machine that removes the anti-theft bars. He shielded the side of his body against the counter when he reached in his pocket to get his money to prevent anyone from seeing the illusion 'glitch,' as he put it. Once he acquired his purse and was in a secluded place, she spotted him putting his de-gun inside.

Eventually they made their way to the woman's section and began browsing through the clothes. Roxanne was looking for new summer clothes that would look nice. Most of her summer clothes were out of date.

"Try this on, Roxanne," Megamind tells her, holding out a stylishly cut black leather jacket with a few decorative silver studs accenting the shoulders. She's surprised that the high-end department store would even carry something so punk on its racks, but isn't surprised that Megamind had picked it out.

"That's more your style than mine," she answers, smiling.

"Oh, come on, just for me," he wheedles. "You don't have to buy it, I just want to see you in it."

"Oh, all right," she gives in and slides her arms into the jacket. Then she spins to give her disguised companion the full effect.

"You look stunning, my dear."

"Thanks, _Megan_," she answers, emphasizing the alias to remind him of who he's pretending to be.

Chagrined, he opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted before he can speak.

"Hey, Roxie," Wayne Scott calls from across the next section over, an area devoted to women's business wear. For once he's dressed in something besides white spandex. He's wearing light khaki trousers and a poloshirt and his arms are hung with half a dozen shopping bags from various mall stores.

Roxanne's expression betrays surprise and she glances nervously towards the disguised supervillain at her side. But she recovers quickly, "Hi, Wayne. I didn't expect to see you here. What are you doing in the women's department?"

He ducks his head a bit in embarrassment, "I'm with my mom," he jerks his prominent chin to the side, gesturing towards the distant checkout where Lady Scott is obliviously chatting with a saleswoman about fashion and the materials used in this year's summer collection. "Using my super-strength to carry her bags for her."

"Aren't you supposed to be patrolling the city?"

He shrugs, "I'm still listening for trouble. It'll only take me half a second to change clothes if I need to go rescue somebody. But it's been pretty slow today." He grins, "And you haven't been kidnapped yet, so hopefully Megamind isn't preparing an attack on the city just yet."

Megamind, safe behind his projected mask, backs slowly away, pretending to be interested in a nearby rack of clothing, but glancing nervously at the his plain-clothed nemesis.

"And who is your friend?" Wayne asks Roxanne.

"Oh, this is Megan," she answers, proceeding with the obligatory introductions politeness requires. "Megan, I'm sure you know Wayne, even out of uniform."

"Of course," Megan/Megamind answers, "Everyone knows you, Mister Scott."

"Please, call me Wayne," he instructs, "Mister Scott is much too formal. How come I haven't met you before? I was sure I'd met all of Roxie's friends."

"Oh, I don't know," he answers, "I've been around."

"Must not have been around much or I would have noticed."

"Maybe you're not as observant as you think. Roxanne and I have worked together for years."

"Oh, so you work for the TV station," he guesses. Megan/Megamind smiles, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with the statement. Turning his attention back to Roxanne for a moment he says, "Wow, Roxie, that jacket is a new look on you."

"Yes, well, I was only trying it on for fun," Roxanne said, taking it off and returning it to the hanger, "Megan wanted to see me in it."

"It fit well, but I don't see you as the black leather and spikes type," Wayne observed.

"Oh, I don't know," Megan/Megamind cut in with a smirk, "I think she looks amazing in leather."

"You like leather?" Wayne asks.

Before Megan/Megamind can respond, Roxanne interrupts, "Don't mind her, Wayne. She's never quite outgrown her goth phase. She'd be wearing leather, spikes, and black eyeliner if she thought I'd let her go out in public with me like that."

Lady Scott had finished her conversation with the salesperson and started heading their way. Roxanne stifled a groan when she noticed. Lady Scott was too much like her own mother for comfort.

"Roxanne. It's so good to see you again," Lady Scott greeted her as she came to stand next to Wayne.

"You too, Mrs. Scott," she replied while deliberately leaving off that obnoxious title like she always did. The American government doesn't recognize titles, believing that all men are created equal. And Roxanne didn't believe that Lady Scott had the right to insist everyone call her and her husband, 'Lord and Lady' simply because they were the wealthiest family in town. She noticed that Megamind gave her a quick smile of approval at the same time that Lady Scott pursed her lips in disapproval before studiously ignoring her. At least she was easy to deal with.

"Wayne, who's your friend?" she asked and gestured towards Megan/Megamind. Wayne opened his mouth to reply, but she continued on, "You should invite her around for dinner this Friday. You're a very pretty girl," she changed her focus back to Megan/Megamind. "Perhaps you could do something with your hair Friday, hmm?" Megamind and Roxanne exchanged a quick glance and Roxanne found that she had to look down and bite her lip to keep from sniggering. "Well, Wayne, I don't want to intrude. Ask her out and maybe you'll have better luck than usual. I'll be in shoes when you're done," she finished and walked away.

The trio she left behind was either embarrassed or amused for one reason or another. "Sorry about that…" Wayne muttered. Then he cleared his throat, "So…Megan? Have any plans Friday night?"

Megan/Megamind's eyes widened in shock and he turned his face away. Roxanne had to cover a sudden laugh with a fake cough at his reaction.

"Yeah, I… uh…. have to wash my hair," Megan/Megamind replied wryly, seeing the humor in the situation.

"We don't have to do that dinner, we could do something else. What night are you free?" Wayne pressed. Megamind glanced quickly over at Roxanne and his lips twitched when he caught sight of her broad smile.

Megan/Megamind turned his attention back to Wayne and said, "I'm flattered, Mr. Scott, I really am. But I'm not really interested. I already have a girlfriend."

"A girlfriend?" he parrots, a bit confused, then, "Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize." Then he notices the smirk Megan/Megamind aims at Roxanne and a surprisingly insightful conclusion occurs to him. "You and Roxie? You're... Oh, well... that's... great... Congratulations. I uh... I hope you're happy together."

Megan/Megamind reaches out to take Roxanne's hand possessively in his own and answers with an evil smirk, "We are."

Roxanne, looking a bit stunned, doesn't deny it and just smiles sheepishly at her former, for-public boyfriend. She shrugs, "Well, now you know."

"So, Roxie, how long have you known that you were... um... into girls?" Wayne asked curiously.

"Not very long at all," Roxanne answers with a glance down at her hand clasped in Megamind's disguised one before looking back at his disguised face that still held that evil smirk. Wanting to wipe that smirk off his face and get back at him, she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. And of course it felt like she was kissing someone else because of the way the hard-light hologram worked. That was one of the reasons she didn't want to kiss him while he was wearing a disguise, but the gob-smacked look on his face when she pulled away was worth it.

"Wayne, we'll let you get back to your mother. We have some more shopping to do. Come on, sweetie," she pulled on Megamind's hand to get him moving as they walked past a speechless, and slightly flustered, Wayne.

They left that particular store and stopped to sit on a bench by a nearby fountain inside the mall. "Thanks, genius. Now he thinks I'm a lesbian."

He shrugs, "I can't help it that he came to an erroneous conclusion. And besides, at least he'll leave _both_ of us alone for now." He smirked and said, "That kiss didn't exactly persuade him otherwise."

She laughed and said, "You were getting just a little too pleased with yourself. I thought it was the best way to bring you down a peg or two."

"By kissing me in front of your fake boyfriend?" he asked with a smile. "I think you may have miscalculated."

"Hey, it worked at the time, and I didn't hear any complaints," she nudged his shoulder with hers.

"My dear, Roxanne, that is one activity that I will _never_ complain about," he replied and clasped her hand once again.

She glanced back up at his face and was momentarily surprised seeing a woman's face looking back at her, even though she just heard the feminine voice. "Geeze, you need to make me some illusion-piercing glasses or something. I keep expecting to see _you_, but then I run face-first into your disguise. It's disorienting." He chuckled in response. She stood and pulled him to his feet. "Well, let's go. We've still got shopping to do."

"Lead the way," he said and gestured towards some nearby stores. She smiled and pulled him along after her.

A few hours later and they were sitting in the food court with lunch in front of them. They didn't have any bags, because Megamind had dehydrated them soon after they were acquired. He claimed that he was only doing his duty by 'carrying' her bags for her. He stored the resulting blue cubes in his purse along with a few items that he dehydrated for himself and Minion. At first she was going to say something, but decided against it. She figured that as long as he was paying for her purchases, that was enough of a compromise.

"What about him?" she gestured with a french fry at a guy in his thirties heading towards them on his way past their table next to the main walkway.

"He's suitable. Remember what to do?" Megan/Megamind asked.

"I think so," she replied as she popped the fry into her mouth. "You don't think anyone will notice the light?" she asked as she brought her wrist with Minion's watch up in front of her.

"It's relatively bright in here. The light grid should go unnoticed," he replied.

When the guy drew closer, she pressed button on the side of the watch and was only able to see the blue grid of light as it swept up the guy because she was looking for it. When the light seemed to stop, she let go of the button and looked over at Megamind. "Did it work?" she asked.

He reached out a hand to her and she placed her wrist in his grip. He turned the watch to face him and smiled. "Yep! See the light here?" he pointed at a tiny light that was easy to lose in the busy watch face. "That indicates the last scan was successful."

"That was easy," she commented and sipped at her pop. "Need me to get more?" she asked.

He shrugged, "If the opportunity arises. I believe our primary objective is obtaining you new clothes, however."

This time she shrugged, "That doesn't mean that we can't multitask."

After they both finished lunch, they loitered at the table for another half hour or so. They spent the time people-watching and scanning images into the watches as people walked near them.

Soon they meandered into another department store and Megamind spotted the hardware section before Roxanne could locate the swimsuits.

"Let's have a look over there, Roxanne," he said and started heading towards the power tools before she could say anything. She gave the back of his head a tolerant smile and hurried to catch up to him.

"Anything in particular you're in the market for?" she asked as he picked up the display model of a cordless drill.

"Oh, nothing specific," he admitted. "But I could always use another drill. And occasionally there may be something else they're selling that I could use."

Before Roxanne could reply, she noticed a store employee turn the corner and head towards them. She saw him grimace slightly when he noticed the two apparent ladies in the aisle. Megamind was busy balancing a drill in each hand apparently comparing their weight.

"Can I help you ladies find something?" he asked with a lightly condescending tone in his voice. "Perhaps you would like to try this 3.6 volt model? It's lighter and adjustable so you can access hard to reach places. It will also fit more comfortably in your smaller hand," he suggested.

Megamind had turned to look at him, and his brows furrowed the longer the associate talked. He spun to face Roxanne causing the blonde hair he currently sported to be a suitable substitute for his cape as it flared behind him, purposely turning his back to the worker.

"Is he _seriously_ talking to me?!" he asked her incredulously and poked a thumb over his shoulder.

"Well, _Megan, _you're the one looking at power tools," she reminded him of his current disguise.

"Megan… right…" he repeated thoughtfully to himself. "Just to clarify… the condescend –shion is merely because I'm currently a woman and he is under the impression that I don't understand my power needs and simply assumes that I would find a drill that would barely insert a screw into a piece of wood more preferable than the more powerful twenty volts he witnessed me holding?"

Roxanne gave him a half-smile and replied, "Yeah, that's the gist of it."

"I see…" he said slowly and turned back to the employee that was still looking sure of himself despite Megamind not lowering his voice when speaking to Roxanne. "I'm afraid that a measly 3.6 volt drill won't provide the torqueing power that is required to construct my metallic, diabolical-" Roxanne cleared her throat in warning and Megamind continued with only a very slight hesitation, "-sculptures. It appears that I will be better suited by doing my own browsing rather than accepting your assistance."

"Now sweetheart, we _both_ know that you get your boyfriend to do all the hefty work. For hanging pictures and assembling a premade bookshelf, this little one is all you'll need. Shall I ring you up?" he went on, oblivious to what Megan/Megamind just told him.

Roxanne wasn't surprised at all when Megamind handed her the purse he was using and said, "Roxanne, could you check that the course is clear?"

"Yeah, alright," she agreed and walked to the end of the aisle to check for other customers. She didn't know what he had in mind, but she was glad that she held the purse with the de-gun.

"Tell me," Megamind asked the sales associate, "is anyone else working in this department with you today?"

"No, I'm the only one here for another couple hours yet."

"Clear," Roxanne interrupted and positioned herself so she could keep a lookout and still see what Megamind's response was going to be.

"Ah! Excellent! It appears that today is your lucky day," Megamind said with a slightly manic smile that didn't quite fit on his currently feminine face. In a smooth motion that was almost too quick to follow, he twisted the watch to reveal his true appearance and drew his de-gun from his holster and pointed the business end towards the rude employee. Roxanne blinked and looked into the purse he handed her to discover nothing but a pile of blue cubes and the pocket where he was keeping his cash. He must have slipped his gun out before he handed the purse to her. "Today is the day," Megamind went on, "that Megamind, incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy, teaches you a personal lesson in courtesy." The manic grin was still on his face and managed to make him look every bit the supervillain.

The employee's eyes had widened to the size of dinner plates and he paled visibly. Megamind cocked the hammer on the de-gun and moved closer to the hapless employee. A wet spot appeared on the front of his trousers which was soon followed by an acrid urine odor.

"You never know who is shopping in your store, so everyone should be treated with the same courtesy. Now repeat after me. 'I will not discriminate against any potential customers,'" Megamind said in a quietly threatening voice. Roxanne checked the aisles on either side to make sure they were still clear.

"Please… please don't hurt me…" the employee whimpered.

"No, that's not quite what I ordered you to repeat," Megamind said in a hard tone of voice. "Let me use smaller words. Maybe those you will understand." His voice got a little colder and more dangerous, "Now. Repeat. After. Me. 'I will treat everyone with respect.'"

"I…I…will-treat-everyone-with-repsect," he rushed out in a single breath.

"Very good. I have hope for humanity yet. You had better hope your coworkers can follow orders better than you, or I'm afraid you're in for a very long wait," Megamind replied just before a beam of blue light emerged from his de-gun. When the light cleared, there was a blue cube standing where the employee used to be.

"Not that he didn't deserve it, but didn't that go just a little overboard?" Roxanne asked dryly from her lookout position.

He twirled the de-gun once and holstered it on his hip in one practiced motion. "Perhaps, but I'd like to think that I taught him a… life-lesson…"

"He won't forget it anytime soon, that's for sure. Someone's coming," she told him as she spotted a couple heading their way.

"I really should clean out the area since he is in charge. Minion has been wanting a new shop vac," he said as he once again twisted the watch face. This time, the hologram attempted to flicker to life, but finally resolved into the supervillain again. He flexed his gloved hand with a frown then tried again.

"Hurry," she hissed towards him while keeping her attention on the people coming closer.

"It's malfunctioning! Hand me Minion's!" he hissed quietly and rushed over to her to help remove the bulky watch from her wrist.

Their hands fumbled over each other in their hurry to get the watch off, but all their efforts were hindered by too many fingers. She lightly slapped at his hands so she could get control of the situation and remove the watch quicker. "Stop. Let go!" she whispered harshly as she swatted at him and kept an eye out. Thankfully he pulled his hands away and she was able to undo the band. Then she thrust the watch at him and he quickly took it and strapped it on. He turned the watch face and blinked into an image of… himself. "No good!" she told him as she began to share his panic. The other customers were only a couple aisles away and were still heading towards them. "Hide!" she prompted.

The last thing she wanted was for today to turn into a debacle. They were parked on the other side of the mall. And _of course_ one of his inventions would fail when they needed it to work! Even if it would be slightly amusing to see the supervillain in all his evil regalia stride through the mall, now just wasn't the time. He didn't have any backup besides her and she didn't have anything with her that could help.

She noticed a relieved look cross his face before he twisted the watch face again and blinked into brown-haired coffee-shop Max in work coveralls just a moment before the other customers crossed in front of the aisle they were occupying. Roxanne breathed a sigh of relief and gave them a brief nod before turning back to Megamind.

"That… was close. What happened?" she asked. Megamind was inspecting his watch, presumably to find the problem.

"Application testing," he murmured while still examining the watch. "Looks like I underestimated the battery drain the hologram causes during an extended duration. It was the turning it off then back on that did it. The battery couldn't handle the additional power surge." He glanced around and continued, "I think I can fix the issue with what's available here. Could you find me an outlet, Roxanne?"

"Why don't you fix it when we get back to your workshop?" she suggested, but he was already off on a shopping trip of his own.

"It really will only take a couple minutes, my dear," he assured her and continued to pull some items from their packaging. Seeing that he wouldn't let it rest, she started looking for an out of the way outlet and picked up the cubed employee on the way.

"What do you want to do with him?" she asked and held up the blue cube.

"Place it at the employee desk and leave a note that says to add water if they really want to. Supposedly his relief won't be here for a couple hours yet," he suggested while looking intently at their battery selection.

She sighed and grabbed a nearby ball-cap advertising a tractor company and put it on. No need letting the cameras around the checkout station get a clear view of whom exactly was leaving a blue cube by the register. She took a piece of paper from her notepad she always kept in her purse and scribbled a note to 'just add water.' A minute later and the job was done. She replaced the hat from where she got it and meandered over to Megamind in a secluded corner who was just closing up the watch, even if it had a couple wires coming out of it that wasn't there earlier.

He somehow sensed her approaching and turned to face her with a smile. "Ok, fixed. For now. I'll make more permanent adjustments later. It shouldn't have any problems lasting the rest of the day."

He glanced around, quickly taking in his surroundings and removed Minion's watch handing it to her. Then he strapped on his watch and twisted the watch face. This time it blinked into 'Megan,' and he smiled.

He drew his de-gun giving it a little spin before leaving it pointing up in the air. His smile turned slightly evil and he said, "Let's go shopping."

**AN2: **Fun fact: I looked up the soda-pop-coke map to see what the common terminology was for the Michigan region before having Roxanne take a sip with her lunch. After I initially typed 'coke' of course. Regional differences, huh? I also really struggle to not type out the word "Ya'll"…


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer**: And once again, a reminder that I don't own any rights to Megamind and am not affiliated with Dreamworks.

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Chapter 10

"What would you like me to do first, Miss Ritchi?" Minion asked the ex-reporter. She had suggested that they go and clean up her apartment and allow Sir to get on with his inventing. Sir agreed with her logic, so Minion accompanied her while trying out his new disguise. Now that they were in her apartment, he made sure her curtains were closed before he turned the watch off.

Miss Ritchi was looking around the apartment in dismay. "I don't remember it being this bad," she muttered. She took a deep breath and looked over at him, "I guess we should gather up my clothes first. Looks like that will put the biggest dent in everything since they are scattered everywhere… Let me grab a couple garbage bags." She walked into the kitchen.

"I don't think you need to throw them all away, Miss Ritchi. A good washing will make them good as new!" he suggested. Why would she want to get rid of all those clothes? She and Sir didn't do all _that _much shopping yesterday.

Miss Ritchi snorted like she didn't quite have the energy for a chuckle and replied, "I'm not throwing them away, Minion. It's just to make them easier to carry. I want to wash them before I wear them again."

"Oh," he replied as he started gathering clothes. That _would_ make things easier for this amount of clothing if there weren't enough laundry baskets available. He started gathering up some of the clothes that littered the area and let his mind wander. He was overjoyed that Sir and Miss Ritchi had actually taken that first step to develop their relationship into something more than kidnapper and victim. He always suspected that there was some chemistry there. He was slightly worried though. Sir was suddenly telling Miss Ritchi nearly everything _and_ he seemed to know when she was waking up or getting closer to his position. He wondered if it was a quirk of Sir's people that neither of them was aware of.

Because they left their planet as babies, there was a lot that they had to discover about themselves through trial and error. He didn't know _what_ was going on when his first saltwater cycle hit shortly after he and Sir left the prison. Fortunately, Sir was able to figure it out before anything detrimental occurred.

"How was your shopping trip with Sir yesterday, Miss Ritchi?" Minion broke the silence while trying to push worrying thoughts away. If something _was_ going on with Sir, he would just be there to help him like always.

She laughed and replied, "That had to be one of the most interesting trips to the mall I've ever taken. Did Megamind tell you that we ran into Metro Man and convinced him that we're lesbian lovers? And I don't know if I can get used to those watches you guys have. I had to keep reminding myself that Megamind was disguised as the woman I was shopping with."

Minion chuckled and answered, "Yes, he did tell me about running into Metro Man. That was some quick thinking on both of your parts! And I know what you mean about the holograms," he sympathized. "I'm not used to looking down and seeing a human body either. It's rather disconcerting. That should wear off after I use it more though. Took me a while to get used to seeing this suit too, you know."

"We had fun though. You should come with us next time, Minion!" Miss Ritchi suggested brightly.

"Oh, I don't know. I wouldn't want to intrude on one of your dates, Miss Ritchi," he said shyly.

Miss Ritchi came over and placed a hand on his faux furred shoulder and said seriously, "And I don't want to come between you two, Minion. He was thinking about you a lot yesterday. Most of the things he dehydrated were with you in mind."

"Thanks, Miss Ritchi. I appreciate that. I'm sure we will get plenty of time to sort everything out while on vacation," he suggested.

She smiled and replied, "I still can't believe that _Megamind_ is taking me on a tropical vacation. That's all he's saying by the way. Can you tell me where we're going?"

"Sorry, Miss Ritchi. I'm under orders to keep it a secret. That reminds me, we need to get your passport while we're here."

"Right," she said and looked at the surrounding mess that they barely put a dent in so far. "I remember where I put it, but who knows if it's still there. I didn't see it when we sorted through the cubes though. I'll keep an eye out." She went to a desk in the corner of the room and started trying to organize the mess. Barely a minute later and he noticed her reading a news-clipping before setting it down again. "Minion, could you turn your watch on for a little while? I need to make a phone call."

He raised an eyeridge and agreed. He turned the dial to the image he decided to use next week on the plane. She gave him a half-smile and dialed a number on her cell phone.

"Wayne?" she said into it a moment later. "I need you to break up with me. Publicly. And messily. With press coverage if we can manage it. "

There was a pause as she listened to the receiver and replied, "Because I've started dating and I don't want it to look like I'm cheating on Metro Man when someone sees us. I'm looking for a job; I don't need that kind of bad publicity."

She rolled her eyes at something and momentarily pinched the bridge of her nose before replying, "Yes, I'm dating Megan. I would like to think that we live in a progressive city, and hope that it won't be an issue. And besides, I can't dump _you_. No one would believe it."

She smirked suddenly before schooling her face back into a neutral mask and said, "Yes, she's aware that Megamind kidnaps me on a regular basis. It doesn't seem to bother her."

"Please, Wayne. Just dump me and then be seen with the same woman at two or three different functions to let rumors start up again. Goodness knows it didn't even take us _that_ long before we were an official couple."

She looked around the apartment and her gaze settled on the trash bags filled with laundry before she said, "No, tonight won't work for me. How about tomorrow at Chez Roux? Pick me up at eight?"

"Thanks, I appreciate it. See you then," she said as she hung up the phone then looked over at Minion. "Minion, think you and Megamind could pick me up after I'm officially dumped?"

"Absolutely, Miss Ritchi!" he assured her. He was happy that she was willing to shake up the status quo while obviously contemplating a future with Sir.

"Thanks, Minion," she smiled. "Well, back to work," she said as she started cleaning again.

- /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ -

Megamind smiled broadly as he put the finishing touches on the Metal Detector Deflector. The prototype was complete, now they would need to test it. He would have to wait for Minion to get back from Roxanne's and then they could go collect a metal detector.

Roxanne had suggested that they let him get to inventing while they went and cleaned her apartment. It was the first time she had been back since the break-in. He understood that it was her way of taking her life back, but he was really enjoying having Roxanne around the lair. Maybe he could convince her to stay?

With that thought in mind, he pushed aside his latest invention and got started on making her a dehydration gun. It wouldn't need to be as advanced as his since it wouldn't have as many functions. Perhaps he should include the decoupage setting as well in case she ever needed a water-tight seal on one of the cubes. He made a few sketches until he decided on what design he thought she might like. He even used his watch to change to her image to measure her hands so the gun would fit in her hand comfortably.

Once he had the design and measurements firmly in place, he went to gather materials. His mind wandered back to the shopping trip the day before. He enjoyed the new experience and it was a successful crowd test for the disguise watch. Not so much for the longevity test though. He scanned a woman exiting the mall before they entered and used her image for the rest of their outing. Roxanne seemed to get a kick out of his new image which she kept calling 'Megan.' She eventually asked if he could make her some glasses that would see through the hologram. He was delighted that she had asked him to invent something for her even if it was suggested in frustration.

He was also pleasantly surprised that she didn't say anything when he dehydrated items and stuck the resulting cubes in his purse, even after telling her that was his plan. The most he got was a look and a raised eyebrow. He would admit, to himself anyway, that he dehydrated more items than he needed to see if she would protest. Especially in the hardware department of that one store where the employee managed to get himself dehydrated.

When they got back to the lair, he was excited to find that Minion had indeed managed to book their upcoming trip starting in about a week. He immediately jumped on fixing the power problems on the disguise watches, getting Roxanne's passport renewed and their passports forged using the names Minion picked for them. He would be traveling under 'Dean Beckett,' and Minion would be 'Joel Nelson.' Then they picked which holograms they were going to use from the scans Megamind and Roxanne had grabbed while 'people watching' in the feed court of the shopping arena.

He deposited the gathered materials on his main workbench and lost himself in the delicate task of constructing the internal makeup of a new dehydration gun. Shortly after he finished installing the power source, he got the feeling that Roxanne and Minion were on the way back. He made sure all the parts were covered and secured then headed to the garage portion of the Evil Lair to meet them when they arrived.

He walked in just as the invisible car parked and decloaked. When the doors opened he announced, "I did it, Minion! We have work to do tonight!"

"I knew you could do it, Sir," Minion acknowledged as he exited the car. Roxanne got out of the car too and he caught her giving him a little half-smile. He thought of the gun he was making her and resolved to have that finished and give it to her soon. "What's the job, Sir?" his henchfish interrupted his thoughts.

"A simple smash and grab, I think. I _was_ debating on taking the metal detector out from under Precinct Four's noses, they've been getting a little uppity lately, but I don't want to gain Metro Mahn's attention. No need starting off a vacation recovering from injuries, eh, Minion?"

"You're right there, Sir. What's the target?"

"We'll hit the courthouse. They have those bag scanners. I thought we could get one of those too so we can pack safely."

"You're not going to just walk up to the front door, are you?" Roxanne asked. "There are police everywhere down there all the time. They could call Metro Man," she said, then got a strange look on her face and muttered, "and I can _not_ believe I'm having this conversation."

Megamind walked up to her and asked, "Do you have a better suggest-shion, Roxanne?"

"Yes, for some reason, I do. There's underground parking just beneath the building. Take the invisible car and park down there then sneak up. All the windows are darkened so you can't see in. As long as you take care of the building security, you can be in and out without anyone knowing," she told him.

Megamind smirked at her as she unknowingly spoke the details of his plan. He reached up and placed his hand on her cheek, still hardly believing that she allowed him to touch her, and replied softly, "That is a genius idea, my Roxanne." He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss. "Come with us?" he asked. He knew she didn't approve, but she did think she just helped him plan it a little. That and he didn't really want to be apart from her again that day.

"You just want to see me in that leather outfit again," she smirked and gently wrapped her arms around his spiked collar.

"It's not _my_ fault you look ravishing in it, my dear," he didn't deny anything and moved his hands to her hips testing her reaction. She didn't pull away, so he touched foreheads with her and softly confessed, "I missed you today." He felt his cheeks heat up once again at the intimate gesture. In the back of his colossal mind, he registered Minion sneaking away to give them privacy.

"Same here," she said and pulled him into another kiss. She deepened the kiss and he moaned in appreciation. He felt her fingers snake over the edge of his high collar and softly run across the back of his head. He pulled her hips closer to his and held her tight. She broke the kiss and rested her forehead against his while trying to catch her breath. At some point in time, he had deduced that he had a greater lung capacity than Roxanne because she always ran out of air quicker than he did.

"One condition," she said between heavy breaths.

"And what's that?" he asked as he gently rubbed his forehead against her much smaller one.

She leaned forward and got close to his ear. Her warm breaths on his sensitive neck and ears were severely distracting. "Stay with me tonight," she breathed in his ear.

His eyes popped open and he could swear that his mighty brain momentarily sputtered to a stop. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Wha…you…I…?!" he attempted to say three things at once and didn't get anything coherent out. He swallowed and tried again, "Are…are you sure? It's not too soon?" he managed.

"We don't have to do _that_," she said with a soft smile. "I just want to fall asleep in your arms if that's ok," she leaned over and kissed him gently.

"Oh, my beautiful Roxanne," he sighed happily. "I will gladly agree to that condition." She hummed happily and gave him another soft kiss.

"So… are you going to show us what you've been up to all day, oh Evil Overlord?" she asked playfully as she pulled away from him. She slid one of her hands down his arm and intertwined her fingers with his.

He smiled at the interest in his inventions and moved towards his workshop. "It's merely a prototype until we can do some testing," he started excitedly, "but I'm confident that it'll perform as designed! Come, Roxanne!"

He led her to his workshop and proudly showed off the Metal Detector Deflector while making sure her present was hidden. It still looked like the MP3 player he had gutted, but with an addition of a small radar dish. Roxanne gently picked it up and he demonstrated the different settings he installed and how to operate it.

"I still can't believe that you managed to create and build this in just a couple days," she said as she gently set it down.

"Well, of course, my dear. I am a genius after all," he said matter-of-factly.

"And so modest, too," she added sarcastically.

"With these looks and my intellect, who can afford to be modest?"

"Ok, stud," she said with an eyeroll. "I guess I need to go get ready. Last time it took me a while to squeeze myself into those pants. And do I even _want_ to know why you have leather pants in my size floating around the Evil Lair?"

"We like to be ready for any possibility," he waved off her curiosity. "Would you like some brainbots to assist you? I can send 619 and 742," he offered.

"No thanks. I don't think I'm ready for that. See ya in a few," she said as she went to her room. Megamind smiled after her. She was going to pull another job with them. She'd be his Evil Queen yet! An idea struck him and he ran out of the room to find Minion.

He found his friend in the laundry room surrounded with Roxanne's clothes. And not just the dark colored ones they had taken when she spent her first night in the lair. Maybe she has decided to stay here after all!

"Min-yon!" he greeted in excitement.

"Yes, Sir?" Minion acknowledged as he continued to sort Roxanne's clothes and place some in their washing machine.

"Roxanne has decided to join us at the courthouse tonight," Megamind announced.

Minion dropped the shirt he was holding and turned in his tank to look at him. "Really, Sir? I thought last time was just for revenge. I didn't think she would join us again."

"I'm just as pleasantly surprised, Minion! I was hoping you could design her something in case she continues to join us," he suggested.

"Oh, of course, Sir! I've played with some ideas for Miss Ritchi a couple years ago; I can pull those and try out some new designs. I should be able to have something put together either tomorrow night or the next day. I'll need her measurements," Minion replied excitedly. It had been a while since Megamind had asked for a new costume and he knew how much Minion liked costume design. That was probably the reason he had designs for Roxanne already.

"Can you work in a holster too? I'm making her a de-gun. And I have her image in my watch for measurements. Let's keep it a surprise, huh?" Megamind asked.

"Y…you're making her a de-gun, Sir? Are you sure that's wise?" Minion raised an eyeridge at him.

"Oh, it's only going to have two settings. It's fine, Min-yon," he assured his friend.

"If you say so, Sir. Did you want to approve the plans before I make Miss Ritchi's outfit?" Minion asked. Megamind smirked as he realized the fish was already brainstorming.

"No, I trust your judgment. I'm sure it will be suitably horrifying."

"Thank you, Sir. What time will we be leaving?" Minion closed the lid of the washing machine and started it up.

"Let's make it a midnight mayhem excursion. May as well let the drones get complacent for the night."

"Alright, Sir. I'll get started on supper and work on Miss Ritchi's outfit until then!" Minion enthused and left the room. Megamind chuckled at his enthusiasm. Maybe he had been wearing the same villainous clothes for too long. He'd have Minion design him something different when they get back to give him something to work on.

He smiled and headed to the viewing room to watch the news. Even if his delightful Roxanne wasn't starring, he still liked to keep up with what was happening in his city. He turned on the five TVs in the room and tuned them all to different local stations. He normally only muted all but one screen when Minion (and more recently, Roxanne) was in the room. Otherwise he was able to keep track of the audio from all five screens. He sat in the middle of the black sofa and spread his arms across the top enjoying the down-time.

A minute later, he had to smile. He could tell that Roxanne had just entered the room and was watching him from the doorway. She finally spoke and walked into the room, "I got to admit, I was wondering about all the TVs. How can you keep up with all that noise?"

He deliberately didn't mute anything just yet as he replied, "You can follow two conversations at once, right?"

"Yeah, most of the time," she answered as she came to sit beside him. She was wearing the same leather outfit she wore a few nights ago and looked just as lovely.

"I can follow a few more," he said as he muted all but one station. "Have I mentioned how ravishing you look in leather, my dear?" He dropped one of his hands from the back of the couch onto one of her bare shoulders.

"The bottom right one is the Spanish channel! Are you pulling my leg?" she gave him a squinty eyed look.

"Of course not! My hands are nowhere near your legs, Roxanne," he reminded her. He squeezed her shoulder and waved his other hand at her. He leaned over to check for a playful brainbot but didn't see any.

"I didn't mean…" she started then sighed. "Never mind. I believe you. No wonder you seemed distracted at the mall sometimes. You were probably overhearing thirteen different conversations at once." She settled back and leaned into his side. He smiled at her and gently ran his fingers against her shoulder as he turned to the TVs again. He noticed that the one station he didn't mute was Channel 8. Roxanne didn't protest, so he left it alone.

When the commercials cut back to the anchor starting to introduce the next story, Roxanne snorted and waved at the television. "I never told you about Barry did I? He was such a jerk. He always treated me like an assistant, asking me to fetch something or clean up something for him. I never _did_ of course. Let that lazy oaf go get his own danish. Probably a good thing I never made anchor... I'd have strangled him." The news cut over to the blonde woman that Metro Man spoke to a few days ago before Megamind could say anything.

Roxanne scowled and continued, "And there's that no talent hack that replaced me. She can't even string two sentences together and yet she's their new field reporter. She was probably putting me down the entire time she slept with the boss." She folded her arms and seemed to try to lean into Megamind even more.

He suspected that her body language was asking for something, so on a hunch, he wrapped his arms around her for a hug and kissed her head. "You're _way_ better at reporting than she is, Roxanne," he told her. "Want to do something to her? We can… I dunno… paint bomb her car?"

She laughed into his chest, "I get upset over someone and you want to vandalize them. And a paint bomb?"

"It sounds more menacing than 'balloons filled with paint,'" he explained. "At least that was the first kind that came to mind."

She laughed again and shook her head, "God, what's wrong with me? That actually sounds kind of fun. Have you done that before?"

"Not that particular stunt, no." He gave her a manic grin, "Want to give it a test run? We're going out tonight anyway… I have all sorts of paint." The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to do it. He just hoped he could talk her into the idea. It would be more fun if she was involved.

"No… I can't…" she protested. But it was a hesitant protest, he might have a shot!

"You're going to break into the courthouse with us and help steal expensive equipment, but won't indulge in an admittedly childish bit of harmless vandalism? She's bound to have insurance, correct? Think of it as 'stimulating the econe-omy.' Best of all, there's nothing to link us to it." He held her hands and started slowly raising up from the couch and pulled her with him.

"You are a very wicked man and there is no way that you should be able to talk me into this," she muttered at him as he gently pulled her from the room.

"I've never tried to hide that fact, my dear," he said as he led her to his workshop. "Brainbots!" he called while still holding both Roxanne's hands. "Paint, balloons, funnels, and boxes!" He gave Roxanne another wide smile, "Ready?"

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**AN:** Thanks again for reading and any reviews that you lovely people decide to leave!


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